If you’re new to Audio Assault, or you have friends that are new to Audio Assault, this is the place to start. The award-winning first three seasons, condensed into one power hour of non stop riffage and awkward silences.

The Cast: The After Party Timmy, Jeremy Clymer, Jere Pilapil, Oswald Hobbes, Joe Gibson, Cameron McBride, Jim Connelly, Josh Radde, Richard Striano, Tim Horna, Phoebe Heyman, Alex Pozzo, and Phil.

Ad / Theme / The King Of Limbs / “Feral” / @j_clymer / “Who’s A Big Baby” / Oscar Talk / “Need You Tonight”

Featuring: Joseph Gibson, Oswald Hobbes, Jere Pilapil, and Phoebe

Music: Radiohead, The White Stripes, INXS

Produced at Coffin Weed Studios in Elgin, IL

It’s the Season 2 finale of Audio Assault! Oswald drinks wine, Jere talks football, and special guest Eddie Martinez finally makes concrete the connection between cat owners and transsexuals. All in all, it’s an average night for the gang at Assault HQ but a fucking spectacular one for you.

We’d like to thank everyone who listens to the podcast and also everybody who helps us make it; stay tuned for Season 3.

Subscribe to Audio Assault via iTunes.

In this amazingly tight and concise episode of Audio Assault, which does not go over time and features all of the hosts staying completely on topic for the entire duration, Oswald is joined by Dr. Joe Gibson and Chicago scenester Todd Abbott. The guys discuss, in no particular order: Orny Adams, Teen Wolf, prom, Joe’s height, Todd’s vegetarian agenda, Taco Bell, chocolate milk shakes, hipsters in Chicago, the pros and cons of blogging, Facebook, more Orny Adams, Kanye West, Joe’s library, cassette tapes, Woodstock ’94, time zones, the concept of time itself, IMBD message boards, Dexter, and Picks & Dicks.

To their credit, 3Oh!3 have to know they are, at best, a novelty. There’s no way one would consciously choose to do what they do for more than an album, let alone on their second, Streets of Gold. They’re a band that is obsessed with partying, yet most of hair metal had a way with a riff. But these guys, armed with little but hooks and some call-and-response choruses, have scored a following and radio play. Amazing.

How else to explain “Touchin on My,” a song where the swears are censored by electronic beeps and bloops because, haha, swears are naughty. Yet, they follow it with the expletive-laced “House Party” (“Fuck the DJs! Fuck the DJs! Fuck the DJs!/Unless they’re playing my shit!”). They know it’s all dumb, dumb, DUMB fun, and they’re probably pretty satisfied with life for it.

Lyrically, they rely on sing-song raps that don’t seem to understand there is more to rapping than just stringing together rhymes. The keyboard flourishes don’t add anything; they’re like random blips and bleeps that fill up the space when the vocal department takes a breath. The music is mixed such that every part of the band is a mushy approximation of loudness, yet it doesn’t matter a lick because there’s not much going on under the surface.

So, it’s strange to say that their biggest strength is that they’ve got some good hooks delivered with literally no imagination. Ke$ha is a natural fit to collaborate with 3Oh!3, as their single together, “My First Kiss,” delivers what sounds like sexy to an audience young enough to have told friends about their first kiss via Twitter. It’s foamy, frothy, silly fun, and that’s ultimately all 3Oh!3 wants to do. With standards like that, it’s difficult to disappoint, really.

Things stay jumpy and full of bold and underline sounds, flashy and shallow. It’s the one mood that carries throughout the album. The lone ballad, “I’m Not the One,” is like a kid lost along the sunset strip. One begs to scream, “The neon lights aren’t good for you! Who brought you here, and why did they abandon you?” This band is not full of convincing balladeers.

Unfortunately, aside from wearing guitars, everything here is done better by Black Eyed Peas. See: 3Oh!3′s would-be youth anthem “We Are Young” versus Black Eyed Peas’ “Generation Now,” which at least takes the pains to name their generation. BEP are not quite as lyrically crass, but they’re still primarily concerned with the fun of the thing. And will.i.am is a better producer than 3Oh!3 are a rock band. So, I end on an honest question: does will.i.am just not produce enough music at a time to fill up today’s house parties? Who, exactly is 3Oh!3 pitched to?

3Oh!3:

• Official Site
• MySpace
• Last.fm

When: Starting Tuesday, June 22 until  June 29 at midnight
Where: Twitter!

In honor of the new deluxe reissue of the Rolling Stones’ scuzz-rock classic Exile On Main Street (which we reviewed here), we are giving away a bundle of Stones discs. What you’ll get: Exile on Main Street Remastered, Sticky Fingers, Some Girls, and Jump Back (Best Of). As my grandfather used to say, that’s better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick! (These are all fine records, but I’m definitely a Some Girls man. People who don’t like that record just flat-out don’t enjoy life.) For a little taste of what you can expect, check out this video for “Follow The River,” one of the b-sides bundled with the Exile remaster:

To enter:

1. Follow us on Twitter @assault
2. Tweet the message “Rolling Stones CD bundle giveaway! http://bit.ly/bAXT8G RT and Follow @assault To Enter!“
3. That’s it!

Already a follower? Just click the button below to have the Twitter message posted to your twitter account.

The Fine Print

On Tuesday (6/29/10), 1 winner will be chosen at random, and will receive the Rolling Stones CDs! Winner will be notified via Twitter, so keep checking your accounts to see if you’ve won! In order to be a winner you must be following us, and tweet the above message exactly as is. US residents only!

Buy Exile On Main Street from Amazon
Buy Exile On Main Street from iTunes

We’ve been lucky enough to commandeer a few copies of the limited-edition 7″ that Editors released for this year’s Record Store Day that we’ve decided to give away to one of our Twitter followers! (We’ve also got their new video for “Eat Raw Meat Blood Drool,” which, if you just scroll down a bit, you can enjoy. No charge or anything. You’re welcome.)

When: Starting Wednesday, May 6th,  until May 13th at Midnight

Where: Twitter!

To enter:

1. Follow us on Twitter @assault
2. Tweet the message “Editors 7″ Giveaway just for retweeting! Go to http://bit.ly/9Zinld and follow @assault to enter!“
3. That’s it!

Already a follower?

“Eat Raw Meat Blood Drool”:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_T6GhYdwI7g

The Fine Print

On Thursday (5/13/10), 2 winners will be chosen at random to receive seven sweet inches of pure Editors magic! Winners will be notified via Twitter, so keep checking your accounts to see if you’ve won! In order to be a winner you must be following us, and tweet the above message exactly as is.

This contest is only available to people in the United States who follow us on twitter.

Editors:

• Official Site
• MySpace
• Last.fm

Link opens in iTunes

We’ve been lucky enough to commandeer a copy of Cypress Hill’s new album Rise Up that we’ve decided to give away to one of our Twitter followers!

When: Starting Tuesday, April 20th until April 27th at Midnight
Where: Twitter!

To enter:

1. Follow us on Twitter @assault
2. Tweet the message “Cypress Rise Up Album Giveaway Just for Retweeting! http://go.assault.it/20 RT and Follow @assault To Enter!“
3. That’s it!

Already a follower?

Get the album now!

Can’t wait for our little contest? Get the album on iTunes now:

The Fine Print

On Tuesday (4/27/10), 1 winner will be chosen at random to receive the Cypress Hill Rise Up album! Winners will be notified via Twitter, so keep checking your accounts to see if you’ve won! In order to be a winner you must be following us, and tweet the above message exactly as is.

This contest is only available to people in the United States who follow us on twitter.

Cypress Hill:

• Official Website
• Amanda Latina Music Video
• Last.fm
• Get Rise Up on iTunes

Cypress Hill Bio

Cypress Hill has long represented the will of the people. The Los Angeles-based trio of rappers B-Real and Sen Dog and producer DJ Muggs provided distinctive insight into the harsh realities of ghetto life, championed marijuana before it became fashionable and made it acceptable for rappers to use Spanish in their rhymes. Given its visionary bent, it makes sense that the group wanted to call its new album — and its first under the Snoop Dogg administration at Priority Records — Rise Up.

“The term itself is pretty strong, like a call to action for people to stand up for what they believe in,” B-Real says. “With this album, we tried to take an aggressive approach on pretty much the whole thing. I wanted to focus on making some raw, aggressive, in your face hip-hop as well as still touch on that alternative base that we have.”

Produced by Tom Morello of Rage Against The Machine fame, the energetic title track stands as a clarion call for people to rise up to meet challenges and fight for what they believe in. The song’s rock feel offers the perfect entree for the rest of Rise Up, which masterfully alternates between hardcore hip-hop and rap tunes with a rock sensibility. It’s an approach Cypress Hill introduced on 2000’s Skull & Bones. That platinum collection spawned the smash hit “Rock Superstar” and provided an outlet for Cypress Hill to flex its creative muscle. “I think that it was one of the big moves in our careers to walk that fine line of what is hip-hop and what is rock and roll and be right down the middle with it,” Sen Dog says. “People respect you for that, when you walk on the edge like that. That’s why, to this day, rock and roll is a vital part of Cypress Hill.”

Another vital part of Cypress Hill’s success has been its impeccable production, which has been primarily handled by DJ Muggs. Given the increased rock elements on Rise Up and the group’s overall evolution, the trio decided to open production opportunities to outside producers. The resulting lineup of Pete Rock, Tom Morello, Daron Malakian, Mike Shinoda, Apathy, B-Real and Muggs, among others, provides Rise Up with a stunningly diverse yet coherent sound that incorporates the traditional Cypress Hill grittiness but puts an updated twist on the group’s sound.

A perfect example of this is “Armada Latina,” which features Pitbull and Marc Anthony and came from a recording session with producer Jim Jonsin (Lil Wayne, Beyonce). “I thought he [Jim Jonsin] was just blabbing, like, ‘Oh man, Pitbull and Marc Anthony would sound great on this,’” Sen Dog reveals. “The next morning, he calls me up and he says, ‘Pitbull’s coming in tonight. Marc Anthony’s coming in the next day,’ so I wanted to make sure I was there for when both of the guys came. We put together this bad-ass song. To me it’s like a Latin anthem. It was a natural fit being that everybody’s Cuban or Puerto Rican. I think it’s one of those songs that’s going to be a groundbreaking song, like Rob Thomas and Santana’s hit that they had years ago. It’s on that level.”

Elsewhere, the up-tempo “Bang Bang,” measures up to Cypress Hill’s most confrontational work, while on the haunting “Carry Me Away,” B-Real imagines his life as a gangbanger from the perspective of his mother. He was looking for trouble at the time and not reflecting upon his actions. Living with that type of recklessness also serves as the theme of “Trouble Seeker.” Years removed from life as a gangbanger, B-Real provides some insight into the mentality.

“When you go do bad things, it feels good to you then because the adrenaline kicks in, but after the deed is done, if you’ve got a conscience of any kind, you feel bad about it and you reflect and you’re like, ‘I shouldn’t have done that,’” he explains. “That’s what all of our lives have been pretty much. We get ourselves into stuff and we regret it after. If I could take back all the stuff that I did to people who didn’t deserve stuff being done to them, of course I would take it back.”

One thing Cypress Hill doesn’t regret is its career-spanning endorsement of marijuana. “K.U.S.H.,” “Pass The Dutch,” “Get Higher” and Light It Up” continue the group’s unabashed affinity for herb, which they helped popularize in both the rap world and society in general. “We’ve been dubbed as the Smokesmen, the Reefer Kings or whatever they want to call us these days and that’s us,” B-Real says. “It’s something that we can’t run away from. I embrace it. It has held us back in certain areas of our career here and there, but I wouldn’t take it back for nothing. We constantly find a way to talk about it that’s interesting or funny or educational.”

Indeed, since the beginning of its illustrious career, Cypress Hill has pushed rap’s boundaries. With their eponymous debut album in 1991, B-Real and Sen Dog established themselves as one of rap’s most potent duos. Their creative phrasing, distinctive voices and graphic subject matter, as well as DJ Muggs’ atmospheric, piercing and dusty beats, propelled the trio to superstar status.

As the years passed, the crew’s dynamic stage show — bolstered in 1994 by the addition of percussionist Eric Bobo (also of Beastie Boys fame) — has evolved into one of rap’s most polished, as such aggressive tunes as “Insane In The Brain,” “Rock Superstar,” “How I Could Just Kill A Man,” “I Ain’t Going Out Like That,” “Lick A Shot” and “Real Estate” translated perfectly to the stage. Given this reality, it’s little surprise that Cypress Hill remains a major concert draw, even when they take time off between albums. During these hiatuses, each member of Cypress Hill goes his separate way only to return to the fold more prepared to help the collective.

“One reason we’re still together as a unit is because we encourage each other to do solo projects,” Sen Dog says. “When we come back together, it seems everybody has a little bit extra knowledge to add to Cypress Hill. I think that if we didn’t do that, we’d all be frustrated musicians because we have a bunch of stuff that doesn’t necessarily go with Cypress, but it goes with B-Real’s stuff, Sen Dog’s stuff. It makes us a stronger unit.”

Now, with nearly 20 years in the game and its eighth studio album about to arrive in stores, Cypress Hill remains razor sharp – and hungry for success. “We’re always competitive,” B-Real says. “We look at this like a professional sport and each year you’re trying to get the crown. You get close or you do alright and that’s cool, but you want to keep going for the crown.”

Time to Rise Up.

We have a free Cartel CD that we want to give to one of our loyal Twitter friends!

Link opens in iTunes

When: Starting Monday, January 18th until January 22nd at Midnight
Where: Twitter!

To enter:

1. Follow us on Twitter @assault
2. Tweet the message “Cartel CD giveaway! http://assault.it/14 RT and Follow @assault To Enter!“
3. That’s it!

Already a follower? Just click the button below to have the Twitter message posted to your twitter account.

The Fine Print

On Friday (1/22/10), 1 winner will be chosen at random, and will receive the Cartel CD! Winner will be notified via Twitter, so keep checking your accounts to see if you’ve won! In order to be a winner you must be following us, and tweet the above message exactly as is. US residents only!

More Cartel

• Cartel MySpace Blog
• Cartel Official Website
• Cartel iTunes (Link opens in iTunes)

Can’t wait to get the cd? Get it on iTunes:

We have an autographed Skillet CD that we want to give to one of our loyal Twitter friends!

Link opens in iTunes

When: Starting Friday, January 8th until January 15th at Midnight
Where: Twitter!

To enter:

1. Follow us on Twitter @assault
2. Tweet the message “Autographed Skillet CD giveaway! http://assault.it/t RT and Follow @assault To Enter!“
3. That’s it!

Already a follower? Just click the button below to have the Twitter message posted to your twitter account.

The Fine Print

On Tuesday (1/15/10), 1 winner will be chosen at random, and will receive the autographed Skillet CD! Winner will be notified via Twitter, so keep checking your accounts to see if you’ve won! In order to be a winner you must be following us, and tweet the above message exactly as is. US residents only!

Skillet’s New Video, “Hero”

Twitter is fun and easy, bro. It’s far better than Facebook or MySpace because it’s super-interactive and you don’t have to listen to the details of anyone’s pathetic life story. Alls you do is this: Go on a few times a day and tweet about what’s going on the world, what you’re reading/listening to, super funny links or news stories, anything like that. It feels retarded at first because no one is paying attention to you, but if you post stuff you know Third World Timmy or I will re-tweet it, other people will see you are funny, and you will start to find friends to talk to.

I can tweet about stuff I like and other people across the world who like that stuff too will talk to me. Since nobody I’m “actual” friends with in the “real world” shares my tastes, that is AWESOME.

I can talk to bands, writers, and comedians I enjoy. For the last three years AV Club has been my fav website – I can now shoot questions/comments at any of the writers and they will respond. That is AWESOME. Paul F Tompkins, my 2nd fav comedian, has tweeted at me a few times. Ashton Kutcher tweeted at Third World Timmy, and gave him a lifetime boner. Third World Timmy’s boner is AWESOME.

I can drive traffic to my articles by linking to them throughout the day and getting a RT once in awhile. The difference between promoting and not promoting on Twitter is HUGE. Also AWESOME.

What you need to do, is get over the feeling of stupidity and weirdness that is normal for any new user of Twitter. It really feels like the stupidest thing you can do, but just realize, SO IS EVERYTHING ELSE. People make fun of Twitter because it’s relatively new, but those same people made fun of Facebook too. You need to find the people on Twitter that are cool and will talk to you, and then it feels like you’re part of a community. Don’t be self conscious about it, don’t think it’s automatically dumb just because it’s on THE INTERNET. It’s a great tool for word of mouth marketing and also just for chatting with people you don’t know. When I get lonely, I turn on Twitter; when I want people to read my stuff, I turn on Twitter. When I want to stalk famous dudes, I TURN ON TWITTER.

It’s amazing. Trust me. You’ll have fun once you get the hang of it. Put up a picture, tho – if you don’t have a pic, nobody’s gonna follow you ’cause they think you’re a spambot.

[This was originally an email sent to Mr. 51% when he professed a need for a "Twitter For Dummies."]

We have 1 Re-mastered vinyl catalog from U2 that we’re just DYING to give to one of our loyal Twitter followers! The catalog includes October, Boy, War, Under A Blood Red Sky, Joshua Tree, and The Unforgettable Fire.

When: Starting Tuesday, November 17th until November 24th at Midnight
Where: Twitter!

To enter:

1. Follow us on Twitter @assault
2. Tweet the message “U2 remastered vinyl catalog giveaway! http://bit.ly/1N5ZSq RT and Follow @assault To Enter!“
3. That’s it!

Already a follower? Just click the button below to have the Twitter message posted to your twitter account.

The Fine Print

On Tuesday (11/24/09), 1 winner will be chosen at random, and will receive the remastered U2 vinyl catalog! Winner will be notified via Twitter, so keep checking your accounts to see if you’ve won! In order to be a winner you must be following us, and tweet the above message exactly as is. US residents only!

U2

“this ain’t mere genius, this is rock ‘n’ roll” – Kerrang, October 1984

U2’s fourth album, The Unforgettable Fire has been remastered and will be released by Island Records on October 27, 2009.

This special edition marks 25 years since the album’s original release in October 1984. Recorded at Slane Castle, Ireland, The Unforgettable Fire was the first U2 album to be produced by Brian Eno and Danny Lanois, and spawned two top 10 UK singles – “Pride (In The Name Of Love)” and “The Unforgettable Fire”.

Special formats of The Unforgettable Fire will also feature bonus audio material, including two previously unheard tracks from the Slane Castle sessions: “Yoshino Blossom”, and “Disappearing Act” (a track which the band recently completed), and a DVD including music videos, a documentary and unreleased live footage from the Amnesty International Conspiracy of Hope Tour in 1986. The Unforgettable Fire has been remastered from the original audio tapes, with direction from The Edge.

The album will be available in four formats:

• Limited Edition Box Set: containing 2 CDs (remastered album and bonus audio CD), a DVD with live footage, documentary and videos, a 56 page hardback book with liner notes by The Edge, Brian Eno, Danny Lanois, Bert Van de Kamp and Niall Stokes, and 5 photographic prints
• Deluxe Edition: containing 2 CDs; the remastered album, and the bonus audio CD which features B-sides and previously unreleased material, a 36 page booklet with liner notes by The Edge, Brian Eno, Danny Lanois and Bert Van de Kamp
• CD format: featuring the remastered album
• 12″ vinyl format: 16 page booklet with liner notes by Brian Eno, Danny Lanois and Bert Van de Kamp

The Unforgettable Fire track listing is as follows: A Sort of Homecoming, Pride (In The Name Of Love), Wire, The Unforgettable Fire, Promenade, 4th Of July, Bad, Indian Summer Sky, Elvis Presley and America, MLK

U2 – THE UNFORGETTABLE FIRE 25TH ANNIVERSARY REMASTERED

Standard Album
A Sort of Homecoming
Pride (In The Name Of Love)
Wire
The Unforgettable Fire
Promenade
4th Of July
Bad
Indian Summer Sky
Elvis Presley and America
MLK

The Unforgettable Fire Bonus Audio CD
Disappearing Act
A Sort of Homecoming (live)
Bad (live)
Love Comes Tumbling
The Three Sunrises
Yoshino Blossom
Wire (Kervorkian Remix)
Boomerang I
Pride (In The Name of Love)
A Sort of Homecoming
11 O’Clock Tick Tock
Wire (Celtic Dub Mix)
Basa Trap
Boomerang II
4th of July
Sixty Seconds in Kingdom Come

A lot of the tracks on this bonus CD have been unavailable for a long time.

Two of the titles from those Slane Castle sessions have never been available: ‘Yoshino Blossom’, and ‘Disappearing Act’, which the band recently completed. A Sort of Homecoming and Bad are live versions, from The Unforgettable Fire Tour that were on the highly sought after collectors item EP Wide Awake in America.

The version of 11 O’Clock Tick Tock was the b-side to ‘Pride (In The Name of Love)’ while Wire (Celtic Dub Remix) was previously on 7″ vinyl given away free with NME in May 1985.

The Unforgettable Fire DVD Collection
The Unforgettable Fire
Directed by Meiert Avis

Bad
Directed by Barry Devlin

Pride (In The Name Of Love)
Directed by Donald Cammell

A Sort Of Homecoming
Directed by Barry Devlin

The Making Of The Unforgettable Fire – documentary
Directed by Barry Devlin

Additional Material:
U2 at A Conspiracy Of Hope Concert
1. MLK
2. Pride (In The Name Of Love)
3. Bad
Recorded live at Giants Stadium, New Jersey, USA, 15th June 1986

U2 at Live Aid
1. Sunday Bloody Sunday 2. Bad
Recorded live at Wembley Stadium, 13th July 1985

Pride (In The Name Of Love) – Sepia version
Directed by Donald Cammell

11 O’Clock Tick Tock – Bootleg version
Live from Croke Park, Dublin, Ireland, 29th June 1985

The Unforgettable Fire Vinyl
Side A
1. A Sort of Homecoming
2. Pride (In The Name Of Love)
3. Wire
4. The Unforgettable Fire
5. Promenade

Side B
1. 4th Of July
2. Bad
3. Indian Summer Sky
4. Elvis Presley and America
5. MLK

Link opens in iTunes

We scored some great merch from Hollywood Undead that we’re just DYING to give to one of our loyal Twitter followers!

When: Starting Tuesday, November 10th until November 17th at Midnight
Where: Twitter!

To enter:

1. Follow us on Twitter @assault
2. Tweet the message “Signed Hollywood Undead skate deck giveaway! http://bit.ly/sDQQ4 RT and Follow @assault To Enter!“
3. That’s it!

Already a follower? Just click the button below to have the Twitter message posted to your twitter account.

The Fine Print

On Friday (11/17/09), 1 winner will be chosen at random, and will receive a signed skate deck, 1 cd/dvd copy of Desperate Measures, AND 1 t-shirt! Winner will be notified via Twitter, so keep checking your accounts to see if you’ve won! In order to be a winner you must be following us, and tweet the above message exactly as is.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=60YMD0o6wJw

Hollywood Undead

A&M/Octone recording group Hollywood Undead will give their fans something brand new to talk about on October 27th, when they release a two-disc CD/DVD consisting of 6 new studio recordings, 6 live recordings and a full 60 minute live performance on DVD. The new package dubbed Desperate Measures : CD/DVD is an eclectic mix of new studio recordings produced by Danny Lohner (Nine Inch Nails) and live recordings of fan favorites. In its 60th week on the Billboard 200 album chart, the debut album Swan Songs remains inside the Top 200, with total sales of more than 500,000 and average sales of 5-6,000 per week -- testament to the band’s explosive headline performances and online marketing.

The new CD + DVD package includes three cover songs “Shout At The Devil” originally performed by Motley Crue, “Bad Town” originally performed by Operation Ivy and “Immigrant Song” originally performed by Led Zeppelin. The album will also include a remix version of “Everywhere I Go” the third single from the album. In addition, special exclusive live versions of “No. 5,” “Undead,” and other fan favorites will be included on both the CD and DVD configurations.

The masks contribute to the band’s mystique. Charlie explains, “In order to keep everything a mystery, we didn’t want people to know what we look like.” That mystery is just as important to the band’s identity as the city is. J-Dog continues, “I’ve seen too many people who just couldn’t cut it out here. This city literally chews people up and spits them out. In Hollywood, there are aspiring actors, artists, crack heads, gang bangers, taggers, and homeless people. They all add to the culture. Growing up around so many different people made us who we are. Hollywood was always known for its rawness, and we have that.” The world will soon see that Hollywood Undead is as raw as it gets.

Desperate Measures Disc One (CD) track list:

(Links opens in iTunes)

1. Dove and Grenade
2. Tear It Up
3. Shout At The Devil (originally performed by Motley Crue)
4. Immigrant Song (originally performed by Led Zeppelin)
5. Bad Town (originally performed by Operation Ivy)
6. EL Urgencia
7. Everywhere I Go (Castle Renholder Mix)
8. Undead (Live)
9. Sell Your Soul (Live)
10. California (Live)
11. Black Dahlia (Live)
12. Everywhere I Go (Live)
13. No. 5 (Live)

Desperate Measures Disc Two (DVD):
Hollywood Undead Live (60+ Minutes)
@ The Sunshine Theater, ALbuquerque, NM &
@ THe Marquee Theater, Tempe, AZ

Let’s face it, unless you have a full time person to make your MySpace totally  bitchin, it’s time to look into another platform to use as your main contact point with your fans. I understand MySpace has always been a necessary evil, but when it comes to actually getting a decent return on investment from your time spent, MySpace will never make the cut.

You cannot track where your fans are coming from

While you can boast a high pageview count, high friend count, and high play count on your songs, you’ll never really know who is doing what on your profile.

You don’t know who the talkers are

The most important part of getting good word of mouth is identifying the talkers. Who is bringing people to your shows? What regions is your music being downloaded the most from based on those “talkers”?

What blogs and twitter users have pimped your page?

Other bands are not your primary source of attendance

According to the statistics I’ve heard, there are roughly 8 million bands on MySpace, and you have 15,000 of them as friends! Unfortunately, those people are probably not buying your albums or attending your shows. While they may be good to do a show swap with, or bro down with for a tour some day–they’re not helping you pay the bills and put butts in your seats.

The 10% of users that are real people more than likely COMPLETELY ignore the “bulletins” that you can blast out to everyone. When was the last time you went to a show based on a bulletin you saw on MySpace?

Controlling your brand is impossible

You’re a band, but the day you decide you want to try to make a living off of your passion you are a brand–a product. Even if you have created a badass theme for your profile, you still can’t control the look of any of the other subsequent pages associated with MySpace. (Add me as a friend, send a message, blog etc.)

This doesn’t even consider the sheer bombardment of advertising you have on the top and bottom of your profile page. Best part is, if you figure out how to hide the advertisements, you’re in violation of MySpace’s terms of use and risk getting your profile deleted.

You can do everything MySpace  does outside of the MySpace universe

Just to prove my point, you can do everything that MySpace does for you, I’ll post a few of the other places that offer the same services. (For free of course)

Embed your music
Imeem offers the ability to upload and create a playlist that you can then embed on your site, for free. Best part is that other people can embed your songs as well. Last.fm also offers this service

Fucking blog
My number one tip to anyone who does anything these days online is to WRITE. MySpace’s blog platform sucks ass, and offers no clean way for users get your content without being at a MySpace page. WordPress is easy to find/create templates for and is a far more dynamic platform to control/track your band’s internet presence. Commenting, subscribing to your RSS feed, and integrating with newsletter platforms is almost entirely drag+drop on WordPress.

Bulletins
Twitter.

Local Concerts iPhone Application. (opens in iTunes)

Tour Dates
With Last.fm you can post your tour dates which will then show up on their website as well as on their concerts iPhone application which I never leave home without. Last.fm also integrates with Livekick which sends users notifications of when your band is playing in the users’ area.

Last.fm also recently released one of my personal favorite iPhone applications Local Concerts. (Opens iTunes) Which will send you text messages when a concert has been posted by you. You’ll never miss another show again.

Sell Music and Merchandise
Last.fm allows you to sell your music that you upload which can also be embedded–oh and you can track it too. WP-E-commerce and Storenvy are two tried and tested ways to sell your merchandise and/or music in your own customizable store.

WordPress may require a bit more of advanced skills, but Storenvy allows you to host an online store on their servers where they handle everything from site setup to checkout. I highly recommend them. (Not to mention they’re the best printers we’ve ever worked with. We should know, we still print our clothing line with them.)

Disagree with me?

Feel free to post it in the comments as well as any other resource sites I may have missed.

It’s not too often I get an email from Twitter telling me I have a new person with a high follower count following me. When they do, I tend to look into what they’re all about on their profile.

9/10 times it’s someone who follows twice as many people as they have following them. 10/10 times said person is a “social media power user”.

I’ve been experimenting for months with Twitter. As a proof of concept, I setup my personal account as my “garbage” account where I follow everyone who follows me back. Lo and behold, I  amassed 2,700 followers of which I follow 2,685 back. I don’t read the news feed, I don’t respond to messages, I don’t care about anything that any one of my fellow “Twitter power users” have to say.

After three months with my two twitter accounts I have discovered two major points which I think will help shut everyone up who brags about their twitter follower count.

• If you can’t mobilize your followers for feedback, links, retweets, or an opinion: they’re worthless.
• Twitter is a vehicle for word of mouth, but offline word of mouth is always better than online word of mouth.

Stop worrying so much about how many, and think more in terms of quality. My meager 700 followers on the Assault Official Twitter account give me better feedback and more interaction than my 3,000 followers on my garbage account. Twitter “friends” or “fans” are way more valuable than a mass of zombie followers.

Have a different opinion? Leave it in the comments.

If you’re struggling to crack 100 fans or even 1,000 on your Facebook or fan page, or Twitter account, or RSS subscribers, then you’ll be glad to know that sometimes 1,000 TRUE Fans is all it takes to make it. I’d like to ask what all of Assault‘s RSS subscribers and newsletter subscribers are up to then because Mr. 51% and I should be rich!

A memorable quote from the same 1,000 TRUE Fans article:

I’ve been scouring the literature for any references to the True Fan number. Suck.com co-founder Carl Steadman had theory about microcelebrities. By his count, a microcelebrity was someone famous to 1,500 people. So those fifteen hundred would rave about you. As quoted by Danny O’Brien, “One person in every town in Britain likes your dumb online comic. That’s enough to keep you in beers (or T-shirt sales) all year.”

The article touches upon something I discuss with freelance clients and friends trying to monetize their startup businesses is the success of the micro payments, or “micro-patronage” business model where the payment is small enough where it’s as if it’s a stick of Wrigley’s gum at the super market, and more of an impulse buy than a thought-through purchase.

Another business model that’s briefly discussed is another one now popularized by the somewhat mainstream company Topspin. Unlike the limited choice of chunky spaghetti vs. the non-chunky spaghetti sauce, it’s well known that having 40 different options of sauce is way better than just having two styles is better for the average consumer–hence the, “endless options of chunky spaghetti” method where you offer endless choices of a product all the way up to getting a guest mention in the liner notes of a song or a guest appearance on the next album.

One other inspiring tidbit:

In 2004 author Lawrence Watt-Evans used this model to publish his newest novel. He asked his True Fans to collectively pay $100 per month. When he got $100 he posted the next chapter of the novel. The entire book was published online for his True Fans, and then later in paper for all his fans. He is now writing a second novel this way. He gets by on an estimated 200 True Fans because he also publishes in the traditional manner — with advances from a publisher supported by thousands of Lesser Fans.  Other authors who use fans to directly support their work are Diane Duane, Sharon Lee and Steve Miller, and Don Sakers. Game designer Greg Stolze employed a similar True Fan model to launch two pre-financed games. Fifty of his True Fans contributed seed money for his development costs.

Read the rest of the 1,000 True Fans article here.

I’ve been going back and forth lately between several twitter clients, and I think I have finally picked a winner for my laptop: Tweetdeck. (I use Tweetie on my iPhone.) The newest feature of Tweetdeck finally put it over the top with multiple logins, but just today I discovered something I wish I had known about a long time ago:

Search Columns

Currently, I have two search column tabs open keeping an eye on what types of t-shirts and shirts people are looking for. Primarily, I have just been using the columns to get an idea who is looking for what and why. It’s been pretty interesting so far, and a lot of the time you find many people asking, “Where should I buy shirts?” or even, “Considering going out to the mall to buy some t-shirts.”

Like anyone else who has an online store, and has slaved away their weekends selling in booths outdoors in music festivals, I know exactly what this anonymous person over the internet looks like. They’re the ones who stop from a distance when they see your product, and are on the fence about coming in for a closer look. All they need is a little push.

Don’t spam, and don’t make your twitter feed a scrolling car salesman–but it’s perfectly reasonable to answer the questions of people who have opened themselves up for a pitch. I guarantee selling your product this way is a great way of generating word of mouth leads, and quality ones at that–at least it’s way better than paying $.50 a click on Google.

Not only will you find people looking for shirts here, but I’ve recommended plenty of print services as well as given out referrals to other t-shirt companies that I like.

http://bit.ly/J4LOy Zambrano melting down. His tantrum is something I’d expect from a cubs fan, not a professional athlete. Funny still.

RT @MikeMezzadri: I think the GOP, in their totality, should go on a vision quest

http://twitpic.com/64dtn – Picture of little sister’s new puppy sitting outside in the rain. (He’s a black lab named Cooper! 11 weeks old)