Here at Assault HQ, we know how difficult it is to plan a weekend in Chicago. With so much good live music to choose from (and so much alcohol to drink to while you listen), who can decide? We can. Just follow this itinerary and you’re guaranteed an awesome time:

Thursday:

Already have plans tonight? Cancel that shit, because The Streets On Fire are playing a FREE show at Double Door! Also playing: Conrad Richards, In Runes, and Paula Head. If these acts are unfamiliar to you, just remember that the cost is zero dollars and that I am commanding you to check this out. If the price is right, it’s guaranteed to be tight! And The Streets On Fire are absolutely rad; check out their MySpace if thou doth doubt me. Doors are at 8pm, the show starts at 9pm.

Friday:

Here’s one for all the oldsters: Mark Knopfler, the guitar genius behind all of those amazing Dire Straits songs from the ’80s that sound even better now, is playing the Chicago Theater. Tix range from $54 to $109, which is way more than I would ever advise you to spend on a single evening of music. But if you got the cash, I suggest you pony up and experience some real greatness while you can; this guy is an absolute powerhouse, and I’m guessing he’ll probably bust out some “Sultans of Swing” or “Romeo & Juliet” once he runs out of his songs from Get Lucky, his most recent solo release. Kick-off is at 7:30pm and Pieta Brown will also be around to entertain you.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_SEULZIHru0

Saturday:

On Saturday, if you’re looking for something different, Reggie’s Music Joint is offering a very special night featuring all-girl arm-wrestling, Muddy Udders (a band that describes themselves as “three pieces of pro-sumer Amero-trash with entitlement issues, energy, and talent”), and a Dead Milkmen tribute band called Born To Love Volcanos. I don’t really know what else to say about this, except that it sounds awesome and you’ll probably remember this night for the rest of your life. Arm-wrestling sign-up starts at 7pm, with the event officially kicking off at 9pm, and there’s a measly $5 cover that you can certainly afford given America’s recent return to economic awesomeness. I really think you should check this shit out.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zu8o3uj9oQ8

Sunday:

Get excited, because Sunday is gonna be an awesome day: White Rabbits are playing Metro, with support from Here We Go Magic and Pet Lions. I haven’t experienced HWGM yet, but I can tell you with real authority that Pet Lions are one of the top 5 bands in Chicago right now, and their Soft Right EP was one of my favorite things I heard last year. And, of course, the headliners themselves are nothing to scoff at -- their last disc, It’s Frightening, was ANOTHER of my fav spins in ’09. Sure, they sound a little too Spoon-y sometimes, but with B-Daniel taking 3 years between records now, can’t we maybe, possibly have room for a second Spoon? I think so. This 18+ show starts at 9pm (doors open at 8, if you wanna show up early and chug some ridiculously overpriced Miller Lite prior to the festivities), and tickets are $13 in advance, $15 on the day of. I highly recommend you check this out -- I’ll probably try to catch it myself if my corporate overlords don’t keep me at work too late.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2sIc5TsdkDQ

Here at Assault HQ, we know how difficult it is to plan a weekend in Chicago. With so much good live music to choose from (and so much alcohol to drink to while you listen), who can decide? We can. Just follow this itinerary and you’re guaranteed an awesome time:

Friday:

You must make choices in life; most of them are not easy. Friday is a pretty good example: on the one hand, local favorites Makeshift Prodigy are playing a record release show at Lasalle Power Company. You throw down five bucks, you get into the show and you get a complimentary drink (before 10pm). The doors open at 8:30 and you’ll be treated to one of the finest light shows in all of local music, plus some fairly rad tunes from their new disc Mathematica. But, on the other hand: Japandroids tearing shit up in a classic two-man fashion, spraying dreamy art-punk all over Lincoln Hall on the very same night! Tickets are $14, but they’re already sold out. But you might be able to find some on the internet or in front of the venue. Show up around 10pm, because that’s when the show starts. Also playing: Avi Buffalo and Lasers And Fast And Shit.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zychqu5CGZ4

Saturday:

If you like your indie rock a little weird and roughed up, check out the Smith Westerns at Schubas on Saturday. A mere $8 will gain you admittance, and you also get to watch Acrylics and Nurses. This show probably won’t change your life, but all of the bands are pretty promising and you can never go wrong when “Schubas” and “eight bucks” are keywords. It’s another late one, though, so make sure you schedule a nap in for the afternoon -- the show starts at 10pm.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=roUxwXHHW3A

Sunday:

K’naan, a dude who survived the Somalia Civil War and then grew up a Muslim immigrant in Canada, has a pretty fresh backstory. But guess what’s even fresher? His rhymes, motherfucker! Oh yeah, Sunday night is hip-hop night at Metro! K’naan will be performing a lot of songs from his most recent release, Troubadour. (Say the word “troubadour” aloud -- it’s hilarious.) And my boy Wale will be providing support! (Along with John Forte and Tabi Bonney.) Wale, I’m sorry I blocked you on Twitter, I still love all the stuff on your CD that was produced by Dave Sitek! Tickets are $20 now, $22 at the door, and the show starts at 7:30pm.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9M7XpHqeP0

Looking for something to do this Friday? Rest easy, Chicago friends: we’ve got just the show for you. Eco-punks Cobalt & The Hired Guns are opening for State Radio at Metro, and it promises to be an amazing show. Cobalt & The Hired Guns are absolutely one of the coolest bands around and they’re bringing the fire to your favorite venue. Also playing: Big D & The Kids Table. The doors open at 6pm and tickets are $21. A portion of the proceeds will benefit Calling All Crows, State Radio’s human rights-promoting service organization. So you’re rocking for a good cause, and you’re gonna hear some amazing tunes. For a little taste of what you can expect, watch this sweet video:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3G60gVsfQ0

Cobalt & The Hired Guns:

• MySpace & MySpace Acoustic
• Official Site
• Facebook
• GarageBand

Alkaline Trio has released the video to their latest single off of their new album of the same name, This Addiction. Check out the video below.

Want to go to the sold out album release show in Chicago?

We’re giving away two tickets to see Alkaline Trio at The Metro in Chicago to one of the people who sign up for our newsletter contest we have going on our site. (We’re not kidding, Third World Timmy is literally holding on to the tickets in his hand in the picture below. )

All you have to do is sign up for our newsletter and follow the directions sent to you on the 18th of this month (February) and if you’re the first one to finish the “scavenger” hunt of sorts you could win the two tickets, or an Alkaline Trio vinyl and a copy of the new album! The best part: beers on us before the show if you win!

Between the 3 full time members of the Assault elite task force, and the 2-4 part timers, we have attended somewhere around 40,000 Alkaline Trio shows. We figured it’s time to make some new friends, and to do that, we’re going to give away two tickets, and some free drinks on us before the show at the Ginger Man next door. The show is February 28th at  Metro (your favorite Chicago rock venue!). Now, I know what you’re thinking: “You’re just gonna throw away your tickets to this awesome show? That’s retarded.” Well, you know what else is retarded? Your outfit. Now listen:

Alkaline Trio - This Addiction releases February 23rd!

Keeping with our loosely-enforced “Don’t hate, participate!” policy, we’re not just going to hand over the tickets–you gotta work for them. We’re not going to make you buy anything or do anything that we wouldn’t do (although that isn’t saying very much….rimshot!). All we’re asking is that you sign up for our newsletter. On February 18th you will receive our monthly newsletter, and in it you will get a link to a secret page on our site that has directions on how to get the tickets.

Not from Chicago?

No problem, if you find the secret password there’s still a chance to win a limited edition Alkaline Trio/Smoking Popes vinyl split, and a copy of the new album, This Addiction!

The first person to find the secret password will win the tickets, and all you have to do is to sign up for the newsletter, and to follow the directions on the email that is sent to you on February 18th. If you don’t sign up for the newsletter, you’ll never know how to win, so do it now!

The contest may (or may not include) an Alkaline Trio trivia question and/or a secret passcode that will be hidden somewhere on our online store where we sell fucking awesome t-shirts, aviators, and other cool stuff.

Third World Timmy, modeling the actual tickets you could possibly win!

The Goods

Two tickets to the SOLD OUT Alkaline Trio show at Metro Chicago on February 28th. Tickets pictured right. (Yes, those are the actual FUCKING TICKETS!)

Not from Chicago? No problem, there is also a limited edition vinyl Alkaline Trio/Smoking Popes split, and a copy of the new album from AK3, This Addiction!

When will I get my the first clue to the scavenger hunt?

The first clue will go out in our newsletter on the 18th of February that you must sign up for. Don’t forget to add us to your address book so that our emails won’t get caught in your spam filters.

Our newsletter is totally tits mcgee.

It goes out once a month, it has funny pictures of us, hot chicks in our clothing, and gives you a heads up to our best blog posts, recommended music/movies, and deals on all of our new clothing we release.

Derek sporting the Radioactive II T-Shirt from Assault!

Who the hell are you guys?

We’re just 3 guys who love music and make t-shirts. Some people think our shirts are pretty cool (including the guys from the Alkaline Trio) and, better yet, they’re made in the USA.

That’s right, you could win tickets to the SOLD OUT Alkaline Trio show! Better yet, we’ve dropped our prices for our 2 year anniversary sale so our shirts have never been cheaper!

The Fine Print

This contest is a scavenger hunt of sorts. You will need to be a subscriber of our newsletter to get the secret link to where the first clue is for the scavenger hunt. The tickets will be given to the first person to complete the contest who is also 21 years of age. You may need to answer a trivia question about the Alkaline Trio. The tickets, and this contest were not provided for by The Alkaline Trio, or their label. This contest has absolutely no affiliation with Epitaph, or the Alkaline Trio (they didn’t respond to over 40 emails from us asking for an interview and/or permission of some sort so we figured why the hell not!) Winners of the tickets must be at least 21 years of age. Contestants must be in the US.

We bought these tickets with our own money, and if we want to give them to two loyal Alkaline Trio fans from Chicago then god dammit we’re going to do so!

It’s fairly rare that I make it out to Chicago to mingle with the civilized world, but when Tim told me the Swellers were playing at Metro I knew I had to suck it up and deal. Their recent release Ups & Downsizing has become one of my favorite albums to blast while driving to work – it’s catchy, fast, and loud. Perhaps more importantly, the songs are smart and substantial enough to justify me sitting in traffic for ninety minutes and spending another thirty looking for a decent parking space. I’m happy to report that my journey was not in vain, for the Swellers did verily bring the thunder.

It was a short opening set (Less Than Jake were headlining, and NYC punk lifers the Casualties also played), punchy, tight, and packed with the group’s best songs. Lead Sweller Nick Diener played it loose and gregarious and basically performed all the duties associated with opening – give the crowd a little taste of rock, get them amped up for the main attraction, and say goodnight before your welcome is worn out. For us, though, the Swellers were the main attraction, and obviously we would’ve liked them to play more. But they did squeeze out my three favorite tracks: “Welcome Back Riders,” “2009,” and “Dirt” (which closed the set on an awesomely intense note).

Overall, I consider the night a success. We saw a great band play some great songs, and I also drank a lot of beers supplied by Mr. Timmy. The only sour note of the whole evening was the Warped Tour promotional video played before the bands started – it was about thirty minutes of notable punk superstars like Rise Against, NOFX, and (um) Ice-T performing and being interviewed about the Warped Tour. Other than that, though, the AssaultBLOG team had a great time and really “took” Chicago (similar to the way Jason took Manhattan in the late ’80s).

This video of AssaultBLOG favorites (and all around pop-punk heartthrobs) the Swellers recently surfaced on YouTube; it’s a live performance of “Dirt,” and it obviously pwns. Give it a listen if you’re not already in love with these dudes, and also pick up their excellent new(ish) record Ups & Downsizing. And, if you’re in the Chicago area, catch ‘em opening for Less Than Jake at the Metro tomorrow (11/23/09). Third World Timmy and myself will be there will bells on – just listen for the jangling sound somewhere near the front of the crowd.

It’s been almost a year since I last had a chance to see Rise Against, as they’ve been touring all around the world the past year, but they’re finally coming back this December 18th for their 10th anniversary show at my favorite venue in Chicago, The Metro.

The band recently released a video for the song Savior off of their most recent album, Appeal to Reason. It compliments many of their previous videos carrying some of the same themes, as well as being shot in and around Chicago. (From what this Chicago native can tell)

Unlike their previous work, however, this video has a somewhat humorous take on the current state of the union. The same themes from their previous videos are present, but this time, instead of being blatantly forward with their message they’ve decided to use what is possibly a more powerful storytelling technique: humor. (Something we at Assault are quite fond of.)

You’ll have to watch the video for yourself to see what I mean, but I have to say that I agree with the central core messages of the video which are forgiveness and openness.

Rise Against also released a new Digital 45 this week on iTunes with the single, “Grammatizator” as well as a live version of the song, “Hero of War”. You can get it now on iTunes.

Along with the video there’s a quick making of featurette with some insight from the director, Kevin Kerslake who provides some interesting insight into the background of the song and music video:

And just in case you’re a fan of orchestral music, The Vitamin String Quartet did several covers of Rise Against’s songs. It’s the first time I ever considered a group of classical musicians totally badass. You can get it in iTunes here.