It’s a very special episode because our friend Phil returns to the virtual studio with his trademark blend of insight and highness. The guys discuss Oswald’s promotion, Jere’s love of Panic! At The Disco, and the new Lady Gaga record. We never promised you a bed of roses, but here’s one anyway – another thorny, fragrant episode of America’s favorite amateur podcast.

Like rock ‘n’ roll? Also like formal wear? The Grape Juice-sponsored Windy City Winter Ball, now on its third glorious year, presents an opportunity to put on your finest clothes and then spill beer all over them. On the bill: Detroit Cobras, Hollows, Rambos, and DJ Billy Ocean (WLUW 88.7). Shit pops off at Double Door at 8pm February 5th -- this Saturday -- so purchase tickets now and take your tux to the dry cleaner. $10-$12 seems almost too reasonable for an evening that promises so much excitement and enchantment, so why you hesitating? (The show is 21+; mature, sophisticated, and very drunk adults only.) Here’s a little promo video to seal the deal:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjrLuq1Xa3M

The Shams Band, a rambunctious and eclectic alt-country band based here in Chicago, are headlining the Chicago Roots Collective One Year Anniversary Showcase January 27th at Lincoln Hall. (Also performing: Derek Nelson & The Musicians and Cole DeGenova & The People’s Republic. The show starts at 8pm and tickets are $8.) One of the group’s three songwriters and singers, Donnie Biggins, answered some of our questions in the days before the show.

Assault.it: Your new thing is this record Champagne.

Donnie: Yes.

And that came out last year.

Yeah, it came out September 2010.

And before that you had an EP, right?

We had a three song EP that came out a year before that.

So this is your first full length album.

It’s a nine song -- you know, some people call it an EP, some people call it a full length. Definitely a larger project than the previous stuff.

How did you guys approach that differently?

We basically waited until we were ready to -- we actually recorded twelve songs. We just approached it by being fully prepared to go into the studio and get the drum tracks for twelve in a weekend.

Where did you guys record this at?

We recorded at a place called Kilo Studios in Pilsen.

Did you guys have a producer?

In a way. Paul [Gulyas], my bandmate, is a sound engineer and he did the majority of the recordings. But at the studio, we worked with a guy that we credited, Mitchell Cepaitis, who also mixed and mastered Champagne.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NIaExbH2bQ

You guys split the songwriting up 3 ways, right?

Yes.

How does that work itself out -- how did you come up with these 12 song?

They were just our favorite songs that we had been playing, and the majority of the songwriting is right now coming from Paul and myself. Brian [Patterson] is still pretty new to songwriting, and we have two of his songs that we play and that we actually recorded. But how we go about it, presenting songs to one another, is we kinda come up with them on our own and then present them to the group. Then we read off each other how it’s coming out, people’s reactions and any ideas that come up for the first time when we play a new song.

What instrument do you like to write with?

I’d say all the songwriters start with an acoustic guitar.

What’s your personal process for coming up with lyrics? How do you decide what you’re going to sing about?

I use straight life experiences. I never try to sit down and force songs out of me. It has to happen kinda in the moment.

What are some of your favorite places to play in Chicago?

I think we’ve played all the 500-person venues, but some of our favorites would definitely be Lincoln Hall and Schubas. Double Door. We actually we like playing out in Berwyn, at FitzGerald’s. It’s a real good country bar.

How would you classify the sound of the Shams Band?

I think it’s kind of a country rock / alternative country type of band. A lot of music, no matter what, stems from the blues, and you can hear that naturally coming out of us. But when you start with an acoustic guitar, a lot of it tends to be a folk song that’s then turned into a rock song when you add electric [guitar] and bass and drums.

How did you get interested in this particular kind of music?

Had to be from listening to a lot of Woody Guthrie in my early 20s. Just spending a lot of time listening to him, learning his picking techniques. So basically from Woody Guthrie.

Who were some other influential artists?

Definitely Jeff Tweedy. Conor Oberst from Bright Eyes. People still that I’m listening to today would be Avett Brothers, they’ve got a big influence on me.

Who are some of your favorite local bands?

Well, we’re luckily sharing the bill with one of our good friends and probably my favorite songwriter right now, Derek Nelson. There’s also a rock band called the Ornery Little Darlings -- their album has been on rotation a long time on our record player.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=JV1TTqO8r94

Do you guys play mostly around here, or do you go out a lot?

We’ve gone out a few times in the past year. That’s definitely the goal of 2011, is to be going out a lot more around the Midwest. We’ve been to Michigan, Indiana, Wisconsin, Iowa -  we’re just trying to revisit those places and add more dates in different towns. You know, an ideal places we like to find are the small town bars that maybe don’t have venues but they have a small stage and they give you a beer deal. That’s the environment we thrive in.

What do you like about that?

The people. The kind of people who hang out in dive-y bars always seem to just have no care in the world. They just want to enjoy themselves and dance. They’re not judging you, or even caring about anything -- they’re just there to listen to music and move their body.

When you guys play a place like that, do you throw in a lot of covers, or do you stick to your own stuff?

When we first started, we learned a few covers, just ’cause we were a young band. I don’t know if we ever practice them, but we have been known to pull them out sometimes. But we always try to stick to our originals, and we try to make sure that our originals are worth playing. We don’t want to play a cover song to get a crowd excited -- we’d rather be playing one of our own songs.

How’d you four guys start playing music together?

We have known each other since high school. We’re all from Oak Park. Brian and Paul were in a high school band together. And then while I was in college, I started playing music, so when I came home we just kinda got together. We signed up to play a small street festival in Forest Park. It was kinda just for fun, and it’s still for fun, but we started presenting our own music and it’s just continued to grow ever since that. And we do have a fifth member now, that we’ve been playing with for a year -- well, not a full year yet. He kinda committed around the time we were releasing the CD so we didn’t have him on the picture yet. Ben White, he’s a banjo player, and a percussionist, and a cello player. We haven’t featured the cello yet.

What are your goals beyond going out more this year? Are you gonna work on a new record?

Yeah, we’ve started that. We don’t have any prediction for when we’ll be finished with it, but we’re back in the studio, probably once a week. We do two or three practices and try to spend some time recording, too, every week.

Are you guys moving in any different directions?

Um, I don’t really know how to answer that. There is some similar stuff in the type of energy that we’re bringing into the songs, but I think a lot of it is different. We recorded our EP, and then Champagne ended up sounding different from the EP. So I think there’ll be some more, and I don’t know what some more will be, but I think it will be a little bit different.

How have you guys progressed since the early days?

I think one thing that we’ve definitely improved on throughout our whole career so far is the live performance, and engaging our audience. I think that’s something that happens naturally the more you’re playing out, and the more you’re playing for people who aren’t your friends and family. That’s when you really improve, because you have to grab a stranger’s attention.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hcqbqrl0_rc

The Shams Band:

• Official Site
• MySpace
• Facebook
• Bandcamp

That’s right – everybody’s favorite scuzzy brother/sister garage combo are preparing to lay it down all across the nation! (“It” being some of the most ridiculously awesome noise put to tape this year.) I have no problem recommending this band to you, but meet me halfway and exercise some caution when you actually check ‘em out: their songs have been known to spark riots when introduced to otherwise tranquil environments. Take two Ambiens before you press play.

White Mystery tour dates:

Jul 27 2010 9:00P The Turf Club Minneapolis, MN
Jul 29 2010 9:00P Gallery Show Missoula, MT
Jul 31 2010 8:30P KEXP Seattle Radio Seattle, WA
Jul 31 2010 10:00P The Funhouse Seattle, Wa
Aug 1 2010 9:00P Slabtown Portland, OR
Aug 2 2010 9:00P East End Portland, OR
Aug 3 2010 9:00P Johnny B’s Medford, OR
Aug 5 2010 9:00P The Hemlock San Francisco, CA
Aug 6 2010 11:00P Ghost Town Oakland, CA
Aug 7 2010 9:00P El Rio San Francisco, CA
Aug 8 2010 9:00P Redwoods Los Angeles, CA
Aug 9 2010 8:00P The Soda Bar San Diego, CA
Aug 10 2010 2:00P Cheap Tricks El Centro, CA
Aug 12 2010 8:00P Beerland Austin, TX
Aug 13 2010 9:00P Saturn Bar New Orleans, LA
Aug 14 2010 9:00P Glenn Danzig’s House Nashville, TN

Read our review of White Mystery’s excellent record HERE.
Sign up for the band’s mailing list HERE.
Peruse the band’s recently re-designed website HERE.

The goal of a good concert by a major pop artist, whether Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, P!nk, or Christina Aguilera, is not musical; it’s spectacle. By that standard, it’s clear that there’s no reason to evaluate Lady Gaga’s concert at Boston’s TD Banknorth Garden too deeply from a strictly musical perspective. If you’ve seen the music videos, the costumes, heard “Bad Romance,” it’s clear that she’s going to measure up. The show is outfitted to her style – complete with a so-close-to semi-coherent storyline about getting lost on the way to the “Monster’s Ball” (“The greatest party in the world!”) as an excuse for skits and costume changes. So the most interesting things about Lady Gaga’s current tour are not necessarily the most entertaining things.

It would be easy to summarize the inventive theatrical aspects of the show and leave it there. It opens with Gaga performing “Dancing in the Dark” while her silhouette is projected on a big screen. There’s a car with a piano in its hood. She sings “Monster” while in a costume that resembles a sea anemone. Some music video outfits get re-used for the tour. There’s an enormous blood-flowing fountain during “Alejandro.” One of her dresses has moving parts. Trap doors and moving platforms everywhere on stage. Oh, and a 40-foot sea monster ties into “Paparazzi,” and somehow makes sense.

These things measure up and are spectacular. The sea monster, in particular, is a “Wow” moment, and her dancers’ choreography is tight and exciting. In a show this big and structured, there’s not much room for spontaneity. Everything is planned for maximum entertainment value, and things are paced relatively well in terms of song choice.

The show wasn’t perfect, though. Part of it is a problem of quantity of material. Hearing “Just Dance,” “Pokerface,” on “Bad Romance” on the radio five times an hour for a year can’t fool anyone: but Gaga only has an album (and an eight-song add-on to that album) to her name. That turns out to be about 85 minutes of music. It doesn’t help when both are packed with filler – songs like “Beautiful, Dirty, Rich” felt like an afterthought both musically and visually. But again, the music is beside the point.

So, there was lot of between-song time. Posing for pictures. Skits to move the “Monster’s Ball” plot along. Personality-less dance music matched with abstract video clips to allow for costume changes and stage setting. Even if excusing a moment taken to call a fan and chat with her before upgrading her seats (sponsored by Verizon for charity), things sometimes felt padded. The show’s rhythm was start-and-stop throughout the night. It’s a necessary evil, given the number of costume changes (and how intrinsic fashion is to Gaga’s appeal), but the lulls dulled the show’s momentum frequently.

The most revelatory thing about the concert was musical, though. For three songs in the middle of the show, Gaga played a set on piano. It’s here that things the fans don’t see in music videos or hear in singles surface. For one thing, she’s got a strong voice. It’s surprising how powerful she sounds when she’s on, mainly because songs like “Pokerface” have that autotune stench all over them. For this reason, “Brown Eyes,” from her debut The Fame, came off fantastically, especially in a show where just about every song sounded exactly as it did on record. It was like a whole new tune.

She also played an actual whole new tune, a roots-rock number that sounded like prime Elton John (for the old fogeys, I’m talking some Tumbleweed Connection shit). It doesn’t measure up – so very little in all pop music can measure up to Sir Elton – but it was surprising to hear a song stripped down of any electronic or pop influences and still be damned good. Maybe that shouldn’t be surprising from someone who spent a time writing songs for Britney Spears, but to actually hear the solid foundation that lies underneath that avalanche of hooks on her singles was a joy.

Finally, the piano set was the only time that it seemed like there was an honest-to-God person running the show. Sitting there at the piano in fishnets and bra and panties, talking about exes, breaking nails mid-song and joking about it, it seemed for once like an intimate club show despite being in the same venue where Celtics fans root madly. Letting the audience sing the first verse and chorus to “Speechless,” then pausing a bit to seemingly appreciate it, Lady Gaga seemed vulnerable, which is a bigger shock than anything she could deliver in a music video or robes made of Kermits (that outfit, unfortunately, was not used for this tour).

Despite being a show full of surprises and spectacle, much of Lady Gaga’s current iteration of the Monster’s Ball tour is predictable. That’s not to say it’s a letdown at all; everything is precisely planned while remaining varied. Even expecting the unexpected, there’s plenty of surprise and novelty on this iteration of the tour. But the songs are exactly as they are on their albums. The thrill is all in the spectacle, and even from my last-row seat, the atmosphere got me up and dancing any time there was action on stage. But the soul of the show is in that piano set; after all the glitz, the music’s got to stand up. That’s where it’s proven that it does.

Man, Coheed & Cambria are on a friggin’ roll these days. Their spring tour (in support of the fairly awesome Year Of The Black Rainbow) was a smash success – they sold out all 27 dates, which is a pretty big deal in a year when even most major acts are practically giving tickets away. Year Of The Black Rainbow charted at #5, too, selling over 50,000 copies in its first week. Those aren’t exactly Drake numbers, but it’s nothing to shrug at, either, considering they’re a weird-ass prog band crafting a massive multi-album story arc involving a bunch of sci-fi shit that doesn’t make any sense to me. (And I’ve been listening since their first album came out.) So, cheers to these guys – their hard work has paid off, and they’re still on the hustle. The band will be joined by Porcupine Tree, another weird-ass prog band, for all of the dates, and their pals Circa Survive will tag along for a few dates too. If you didn’t catch them the first time around, here’s your chance to do it up right:

Coheed and Cambria with Porcupine Tree and Circa Survive
8/12 Hollywood, CA Hollywood Palladium *^
8/13 Las Vegas, NV The Joint *^
8/14 San Diego, CA 4th and B (21+) *^
8/16 Albuquerque, NM Sunshine Theater *^
8/17 El Paso,TX Club 101 *^
8/18 San Antonio,TX Sunset Station *^
8/20 Memphis,TN Minglewood Hall *^
8/21 Asheville, NC Thomas Wolfe Auditorium *^
8/22 Nashville, TN War Memorial Auditorium *^
8/23 St Louis,MO Pageant *^
8/24 Grand Rapids,MI Orbit Room *^
8/26 Cleveland,OH Nautica Pavillion *^
8/27 Columbus,OH LC Pavilion Outdoor Amphitheatre **
8/28 Pittsburgh, PA Ches Arena **
8/30 Richmond,VA National **
9/01 Norfolk,VA Norva **

* w/ Porcupine Tree
** w/Circa Survive

Do you remember the Fireside Bowl? I use the word “legendary” a lot, but this place was actually LEGENDARY. A decrepit, smelly bowling alley that hosted punk & indie shows all throughout the 90s, the Fireside always looked like it was going to collapse. Seeing a show there was exciting, not just because you were getting a fix of raw, awesome music, but because you could quite literally die. I unfortunately never got to see any of the really legendary shows there (Third World Timmy, to this day, still talks about the time The Fux became his favorite band, based solely on one live performance there; he still has a Fux poster in every room of his apartment), but last week I got an email from our friends in Geronimo! telling me that they’d be performing there this Tuesday. (That’s TODAY, if you’re reading this right now.) How pumped am I for this show? Well, let’s see. Geronimo!’s Fuzzy Dreams is one of the best rock records I’ve heard this year – a unique blend of post-rock, punk, and prog, featuring keyboards that don’t sound like keyboards and guitars that’ll slice your head off. And the drums? Don’t even get me started on the drums, mostly because I don’t know the correct terminology to describe what Matt Schwerin does, and also because I will never stop talking. Sometimes I’m air-drumming along, using every available surface, and it gets so intense that I have to punch myself in the face. That’s the kind of band Geronimo! is. Plus, I haven’t been to the Fireside since 2002, so it’ll be interesting to see what’s goin’ on there. (It was used for the bowling scenes in The Break-Up, so I’m thinking there’s been some serious renovation.)

Also playing: Warren Franklin, Bust, and The Please & Thank Yous. I don’t really know those bands, and I don’t like to try and do a rundown just based on their MySpace pages or whatever. But I’m willing to bet that they’re all cool, since they’re down with Geronimo!, and this show will probably be one of the most bro-tastic things you see all year. When I found out about this show, I immediately googled the Fireside to try and find out if they were going to have shows there on a regular basis; all their website mentions is bowling, so I don’t know exactly what the story is behind this. If you’ve never been there, I suggest you check it out – it’s part of Chicago history, and, besides, what else are you gonna do on a Tuesday night? GO TO THIS!

Hold on to your butts – noted screamo fiends Pianos Become The Teeth just kicked off a massive tour that will take them all over the country and probably result in America’s total destruction. Should be a good time. We’ve got dates, but – not so fast – have you picked up a copy of their latest release, Old Pride? We reviewed it here and found it quite delightful; you will most likely have the same reaction, provided you can handle the level of rawk these guys are throwing down. They’re totally brutal, but also pretty smart and sophisticated – if Thrice’s The Illusion Of Safety got regular rotation in your Discman, you might want to check this out. It’s even harder, and more atmospheric, and you will die from listening to it too loud. Top Shelf  just released it on vinyl, so now’s the time!

PIANOS BECOME THE TEETH:
Jun 11 Charm City Art Space – Tour Kickoff/LP Release Show w/ Ruiner Baltimore, MD
Jun 12 The Dungeon w/ The Saddest Landscape Williamsport, PA
Jun 13 It’s a Kling Thing! House w/ Sea Skulls Akron, Ohio
Jun 14 Justice Records w/ The Reptilian Mount Pleasant, Michigan
Jun 15 The DAAC w/ Victor! Fix The Sun Grand Rapids, Michigan
Jun 16 Treasure Town w/ Suffix Chicago, Illinois
Jun 17 Afterschool w/ Szep Alma Merton, WI
Jun 18 1108 Hour w/ Neverender Cedar Falls, Iowa
Jun 19 Salt Water Taffy House w/ Lizards Have Personalities Kansas City, MO
Jun 20 Vaudeville Mews w/ Sea of Trees, + more Des Moines, Iowa
Jun 21 The Ghost House w/ Cerulean City, Flesh Eating Skin Disease Lincoln, Nebraska
Jun 22 The Blast-O-Mat w/ Colors, Citizen, Crooked Ways, Life Won’t Wait Denver, CO
Jun 23 The Basement w/ WeDropLikeBombs, + More Ogden, Utah
Jun 24 Brawl Studio w/ Dead Heroes, Bone Dance, + more Garden City, Idaho
Jun 25 230 West Riverside w/ Not To Reason Why, The Toy Garden, Anadonia Spokane, WA
Jun 26 The Black Lodge w/ Not To Reason Why, You May Die In The Desert, Grenades Seattle, WA
Jun 27 The Kenton Club w/ Not To Reason Why, Kidcrash, You and Us Portland, OR
Jun 28 TBA! PLEASE HELP! Redding, CA,
Jun 29 Sue’s Java Cafe w/ Lemuria Redding, CA
Jun 30 Unholy Grounds w/ Florentine Camerata, Di Bravura Olivehurst, CA
Jul 1 Texas Toast House w/ Matsuri San Jose, CA
Jul 2 The Captive w/ Cabin Fire Fresno, CA
Jul 3 Eastside Cafe w/ Summer Vacation, ColorChromatic, Agosto Espias El Sereno, CA
Jul 4 The Cabin w/ Touche Amore, Creatures, Matsuri, + more Garden Grove, CA
Jul 5 Yayo’s Tacos w/ Caravels (Their Homecoming Show!) Las Vegas, NV
Jul 6 Che Cafe w/ Touche Amore La Jolla, CA
Jul 7 TBA! PLEASE HELP! Phoenix, AZ,
Jul 8 The Hideaway Lounge w/ Barbarian, Mongrel, + more El Paso, Texas
Jul 9 The Pine Box w/ Squares, Ivy League, and Oh Infamous City Midland, TX
Jul 10 The Ten Eleven w/ I Ignite, Illustrations, + more San Antonio, TX
Jul 11 Super Happy Fun Land w/ Diving, My Brother’s Keeper, iDreaminstereo Houston, TX
Jul 12 1919 Hemphill w/ We Were Skeletons, Nouveux Riches, + More Ft. Worth, TX
Jul 13 Bad Granny’s Bazaar Oklahoma City, OK
Jul 14 The Warehouse w/ Losing Sleep, No Country, + more Mountain Home, Arkansas
Jul 15 The Tavern w/ This Is Not An Exit, Les Doux Hattiesburg, Mississippi
Jul 16 The Firehouse Birmingham, Alabama
Jul 17 The Greenhouse w/ Tir Asleen, + More Rome, GA
Jul 18 Earshot Records w/ Miles Apart Greenville, SC
Jul 19 The Basement Studios w/ Barrow, Lewis vs Clark, Iselia, 2613 Raleigh, NC
Jul 20 7 Day Weekend w/ Barrow, Lewis Vs Clark, In Desperation, Postcards Greensboro, NC
Jul 21 Ted’s Red Shed Annandale, VA
Aug 5 Monarch’s Bar w/ JUNE PAIK, BATTLE OF WOLF 359 + more Baltimore, MD

If you ever wondered what Modest Mouse’s first album would sound like if Isaac Brock had gotten into emo instead of psychedelic drugs as a teenager, imadethismistake might be for you: their basic sound is Pacific Northwest sadcore, with plenty of cello in the mix, but Kylewilliam Campol’s distinctive lead vocals push the band out of Influence Bay and into the Ocean of Originality. Sometimes he sounds like he’s delivering slam poetry at an open mic, shouting long, literate paragraphs while the band creates pocket explosions behind him. Other times imadethismistake sound like America’s answer to Los Campesinos!, but their jumpy rhythms are offset by delicate minor-key melodies rather than infectious indie-pop. Anyways, they’re good. And they’re streaming their delightful new record Bow and Quiver in its entirety over at punknews.org, totally for free. Might I suggest you listen to it and then purchase a legal copy? I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.

But the real news here is for all of our European friends, who can catch the band on their monthlong tour of the area. It starts on Friday, and we have the dates:

JUN 11 – Bridgend, Wales @ Hobos w/ Neil Sutherland & Friends
JUN 12 – London, England @ The Windmill w/ Neil Sutherland & Friends
JUN 13 – Newcastle, England @ Prudhoe Chare w/ Neil Sutherland & Friends
JUN 14 – Edinburgh, Scotland @ Bannermans w/ Neil Sutherland & Friends
JUN 15 – Glasgow, Scotland @ O’Henry’s w/ Neil Sutherland & Friends
JUN 16 – Durham, England @ The Fish Tank w/ Neil Sutherland & Friends
JUN 17 – Bristol, England @ The Croft w/ Neil Sutherland & Friends
JUN 22 – Caen, France @ El Camino w/ Apologies, I Have None!
JUN 23 – Laval, France @ Queen’s Bar w/ Apologies, I Have None!
JUN 24 – Dijon, France @ Deep Inside w/ Apologies, I Have None!
JUN 25 – Geneva, Switzerland @ Tiki’s Bar w/ Apologies, I Have None!
JUN 26 – Davos, Switzerland @ The Box w/ Apologies, I Have None!
JUN 27 – Gland, Switzerland @ Route de Nyon w/ Apologies, I Have None!
JUN 28 – Ljubljana, Slovenia @ Tovarna Rog w/ Apologies, I Have None!
JUN 29 – Graz, Austria @ At Sub w/ Apologies, I Have None!
JUN 30 – Austria @ TBA
JUL 01 – Oberwart, Austria @ The Oho w/ Apologies, I Have None!
JUL 02 – Wiener Neustadt, Austria @ Bandhaus w/ Apologies, I Have None!
JUL 03 – Germany @ TBA
JUL 04 – Kiel, Germany @ Hansa48 w/ Apologies, I Have None!
JUL 05 – Amsterdam, Netherlands @ TBA w/ Apologies, I Have None!
JUL 06 – Belgium @ TBA
JUL 07 – France @ TBA
JUL 08 – Paris, France @ Le Pix w/ Apologies, I Have None!

imadethismistake:

• Stream Bow and Quiver
• MySpace
• Official Site
• Last.fm

Hey! It’s the weekend. Here’s what you should do, if you’re looking for musical entertainment. Just add beer:

FRIDAY

I Lost Control bring their weird, bracing post-punk amalgam to the Abbey Pub on Friday, w/ support from Magatha Trysty, The Hurtin’ Kind, Alexander Webb, and London Anderson. I Lost Control should appeal to anybody that likes gloomy British music from the ’80s, but they’re a little more interesting than most of their immediate peers. You can check out their MySpace to get an idea of what they’re doing -- my personal fav is “I Lost Control,” for two reasons: 1) The track sounds like Ian Curtis lounging around on a Sunday afternoon with Robert Smith, both of them in bathrobes and too tired to work up a real bad mood. 2) Saying “‘I Lost Control’ by I Lost Control” just sounds awesome. Doors open at 8 and tickets are ten bucks. Third World Timmy will be there taking photographs with his expensive camera, so if you see a muscley guy with wicked tats in the front row, go up and buy him a beer. (Also: This isn’t really relevant to anything, but Magatha Trysty is the best/worst band name I’ve ever heard, and I really wish I was going to this show so I could see how, exactly, they back that up musically. Oh well.)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpr_XxlKTfc

SATURDAY

Continuing our current trend of hyping the shit out of darkroom, I’m going to recommend you check Gospel Gossip’s set there on Saturday. The singer kind of sounds like one of the Indigo Girls totally losing her shit, and this is accompanied by the kind of warm, fuzzy alt-rock that makes me miss watching MTV late at night in the ’90s. Also: they’re from Minnesota, and Minnesota bands know how to party -- it’s colder than shit there, which gives them plenty of time to stay inside and practice wailing on their instruments (while drinking copious amounts of Natural Ice). Check out the MySpace for a little preview, and I think you’ll agree when I say that this is a pretty cool band. And darkroom is obviously awesome, since we talk about so much on this website. Also playing: Spouse, Bully Pulpit, and Matt Crews. Thangs pop off at 8pm, and tickets are ten bucks at the door. Do it!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4X_QY_t2W4

SUNDAY

I’m going to be honest with you: I’m leaving for vacation in a few hours and I really want to wrap this up, and it’s somewhat of a slow weekend in Chicago. So, fuck it: Liza Minnelli is playing the Chicago Theatre. She’s kind of weird, and I’m personally not crazy about her voice, but… whatever. She was on Arrested Development, and that is the best TV show of all time, so fork out the $55 for a ticket and make it work! The show starts at 7:30, and you should probably ask your grandmother if she wants to come, too.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rU7DSHs8aJw

HAVE AN AWESOME WEEKEND, LIL ASSAULTERS!

(Before I launch into another interminable string of superlatives regarding Welcome To Ashley, I need to make a slight correction regarding something we printed last Friday. In our weekly Assault The Weekend! column, I misidentified WTA as the headliners of this particular show at darkroom. In fact, Ladies & Gentlemen were the headliners. I also failed to mention the Viaducts, who played first on the bill, but I’ll have plenty to say about them later. For now, I’d like to publicly apologize to Ladies & Gentlemen for the oversight, and also for missing their set – Third World Timmy had a lot of prepping to do before the Belmont/Sheffield street festival, so we had to jet a little early.)

Anyway: we first experienced the magic of darkroom a couple weeks ago when the Maybenauts played there, and it quickly jumped to the top of the Assault Party Death Squad’s list of fav hangouts. The layout of darkroom is exceedingly cool – a bar in the center of the room, with a stage to the right and some tables where bands can set up merch along the left wall. There are plenty of booths in which to sit and drink $3 cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon, and the sound is big and edgy without making your ears bleed. It’s a cool place to see a show, and I recommend it.

We were happy to return again, and we got there super early this time. You know how people say it’s cool to be “fashionably late”? Unlearn that. It’s cool to show up forty-five minutes before any other music fans get there. That shows dedication, and the APDSquad is nothing if not dedicated. Proof that it pays to get there first: we witnessed one of the weirdest, craziest, flat-out awesomest bands in Chicago. I speak, of course, of the Viaducts – three dudes on the wrong side of thirty that look they should be working in the Arby’s drive-through, with a sense of style that’s best described as “non-existent.” In a musical landscape where the cool kids generally rule, these guys brought along some dude in a Blackhawks jersey to maniacally chant “Drive-Thru Girl” (the name of the band’s [apparently] most popular song), even after the song had been played. I’m assuming he was somebody’s brother-in-law, and he was the one element of Friday’s show that I found truly lacking. I would’ve been a lot more impressed if he had called out a different song each time, and then the band played that song, creating the illusion that their set list was being randomly dictated by some drunk guy in a Blackhawks jersey.

But, whatever. The Viaducts are great. Part of what makes them great is how cluelessly horrible they are. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s not. I could see these guys becoming a popular hipster favorite around town – they play slowed-down power pop, exchanging pep and pizzazz for grungy chords and drawn-out solos but retaining old-school songwriting fundamentals that make their odes to unrequited love feel both ersatz and essential. I picked up a copy of the group’s demo-quality EP for $3, and while it’s nowhere near as captivating as the band’s live performance, it did only cost $3. Ifyou are lucky enough to catch the Viaducts live, savor every second of the experience – you will not see anything this ridiculous again in a long while, unless you’re planning a weekend trip to your local fantasy zoo, where unicorns frolic with ligers.

Now: Welcome To Ashley. I recently went on record as stating that their new album, Beyond The Pale, is the best straight-up rawk record to be released this year. I stand by that, especially after seeing the songs cranked out live. WTA are commanding and powerful in a very subtle way live – they don’t dance around or spray Faygo at you. They don’t need to. Their songs, particularly those found on Pale and its preceeding EP, Absent Man, are strong in the way that you rarely hear, especially on a Friday night for ten bucks at a dive bar - they’ve absorbed notable mope-rock influences like the Smiths and Joy Division, but those are just weapons in their arsenal. Their main setting is “jangly;” if you like the way that an electric guitar sounds when it is played with finesse and skill, you will enjoy this music. If a devastatingly precise backbeat gets you more excited than some dude with twelve arms creating dissonant tribal rhythms, you will like this music. If the bass lines on Unknown Pleasures turn you on but you wish they were in service of stronger melodies, you will like this music.

And if you like singing, at all, you will like this music. Coley Kennedy is one of the top dude singers right now – he really belts it out, in a voice that’s as deep and rich as whiskey poured from a velvet slipper. I’d say he’s the main attraction, but that’s not to discount his bandmates; watching Pete Javier play guitar was one of the highlights of my week. He’s a pretty suave dude, and the way he effortlessly creates the perfect backdrop for Kennedy’s voice (while finding plenty of time to showcase his own chops – check the slow-motion solos on Beyond the Pale, elastic and stretched to their breaking point for maximum suspense and joy) is exactly what you look for in a real guitar player. And Jeremy Barrett and Sherrlia Bailey do the kind of rock-solid, understated work that often goes unnoticed; they’re not real flashy, but they make this stuff really stick.

The band drew mostly from Beyond The Pale for their setlist, although they dropped in a few older nugs. Most impressive was their ferocity during a run-through of Absent Man‘s “Nothing But Grey Skies Ahead,” and the way the crowd reacted when the first notes were played – it was like being at a Sarah Palin rally, with awesome rock music instead of incredibly weird and creepy redneck rhetoric providing the soundtrack. And my heart popped a boner when the band played “Thursday Afternoon” as an unexpected encore – it’s one of the best tracks on their new album, and the night wouldn’t have felt complete without it.

All in all, I’d say it was a great show. I’m bummed that we missed Ladies and Gentlemen, but I honestly don’t know how much rock ‘n’ roll I could’ve handled – between the Viaducts and Welcome To Ashley, we’d tasted both the sweaty tang of failure and the glorious mouthfeel of a flawless victory. Epic!!!

[Show as slideshow]

Do your weekend the Assault.it way -- with plenty of beer and live music.

FRIDAY

Start your weekend by trekking all the way out to House Of Blues, if you dare -- our good friends The Action Blast are headlining another action-packed show there, and you’re sure to get plenty of action if you go. Also appearing: Heart Set Self Destruct, Seven Day Sonnet, A Hero Named Hope, and Trainwreck Symphony. A couple of those bands have terrible names, but don’t let it deter you -- there will be some good talent onstage, particularly once the Action Blast start blowing shit up. Doors open at 5:30 for this all-ages show, and tickets are ten bucks. The Assault Party Death Squad will possibly be representing there, although we’ll have to leave early to make it to darkroom, where our beloved Maybenauts are playing a CD release show (and also celebrating the birthday of guitarist Vee Sonnets, who is a very good guitar play and is most definitely not named Lee Vonnets). Also playin’: Tenniscourts, TAFKA Vince, Gidgets Gaga, Penthouse Sweets, The Safes, and the Sonnets. Best part about this show, besides watching a space panda play guitar? It’s free if you show up before ten! This show is highly recommended, especially to those 21 and up, because they’re the ones who can get in. If you show up after ten, it’s five bucks, which isn’t bad either.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPFG4lZme3c

SATURDAY

Saturday is your chance to catch Anna Vogelzang doing her singer-songwriter thing at the Uncommon Ground location on Clark. We recently reviewed Ms. Vogelzang’s new CD Paper Boats, and we really, really liked it. We also like everything else she’s ever done because she’s super-talented, super-nice, and she can play Lady Gaga songs on the banjo. You really don’t see that everyday. According to the UG’s website (I call it “the UG” because I’m a hipster), Ms. Vogelzang plays from 10 to 10:45pm, and I believe this show may actually be free as long as you’re doing something inside of the UG that falls into the category of “eating” and/or “drinking.” A dinner reservation guarantees access to the performance, so that may be the route you want to go -- you’re gonna eat dinner anyway, why not do it at some cool place in the city while being serenaded by Anna Vogelzang? (Miranda Rae plays from 11 to 11:45pm.)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNqs5m8YkY0

Here at Assault HQ, we know how difficult it is to plan a weekend in Chicago. With so much good live music to choose from (and so much alcohol to drink to while you listen), who can decide? We can. Just follow this itinerary and you’re guaranteed an awesome time:

FRIDAY

We’ve made no secret here at Assault.it of our affection for Michigan pop-punkers The Swellers, and that train of pure and righteous love keeps rolling: they’re playing a headlining show at the infamous Beat Kitchen tonight. So basically, one of our favorite bands at one of our favorite venues -- we’re contractually obligated (via a contract w/ ourselves) to recommend this. GO TO IT! Also playing: NY hardcore up-and-comers Crime In Stereo, This Time Next Year, and The Minor League. If you’re thinking about not going to this, take a deep breath, punch yourself in the nuts, and get a clue! Tickets are $10, doors open at 6:30pm, and it’s all ages -- bring your younger brothers!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fhc6_BTWFjY

SATURDAY

This is a good one: Murder By Death, one of my personal favorites, are playing at Reggie’s Rock Club with openers Ha Ha Tonka (another Assault fav) and Linfinity. MBD just released a new disc called Good Morning, Magpie, and I’m guessing they’ll play some new songs, as well as a fair sprinkling of their tremendously awesome back catalog. Seriously: both Who Will Survive And What Will Be Left Of Them and In Bocca El Lupo are stone-cold classics, and you should not miss this show. It’s gonna be a night of foot-stompin,’ whiskey-drinkin,’ and cello-shreddin.’ Doors open at 7pm for this all ages show, and tickets are a mere $15.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zt2Sf2-o94g

SUNDAY

Friday you did the pop-punk thing, Saturday you did the saloon-rock thing -- finish your weekend by checking out some more up-to-date music at Subterranean with the good, weird sounds of Coltrane Motion and You, You’re Alright (along with California Wives and Tell Your Friends.) You, You’re Alright are of particular interest to me, mostly because they list “Nintendo DS” as one of their instruments. (We really like video games.) But, srsly, this should be a fun show, and tickets are only eight bucks -- you can’t go wrong at that price, especially on a Sunday when the only other decent thing going on is Reggie’s, um, crawfish boil. So check it out -- $8, doors open at 7:30pm, and it’s 21+.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKSLM0MD4IA

Here at Assault HQ, we know how difficult it is to plan a weekend in Chicago. With so much good live music to choose from (and so much alcohol to drink to while you listen), who can decide? We can. Just follow this itinerary and you’re guaranteed an awesome time:

FRIDAY:

Dust off your machetes and machine guns: Direct Hit! are coming to town again. This time they’re playing at infamous Logan Square uber-dive Ronny’s. Also on the bill: The Sky We Scrape, Red City Radio, The Please & Thank Yous, and Tension Generation. Can’t vouch for any of those other guys (although I genuinely looking forward to experiencing them this evening), but you NEED to see Direct Hit!. You need to see them NOW. They are tighter than fuck, and they are hilarious. And DH! mastermind Nick Woods is a genius-level pop-punk songwriter. They’re still riding the buzz from #4, their blockbuster EP from earlier this year. The show starts at 6 and it’s all ages, although you probably don’t want to bring your kids here.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4l-ePeq8bI

Later on in the night: That Ronny’s show is pretty early, so you should have plenty of time to catch White Mystery at Crown Liquors on Milwaukee -- also in Logan Square, which is kinda serendipitous. On the bill: Kommie Kilpatrick, Tender, The Amoebas, and Blasted Diplomats. If you’ve never experienced the magic of White Mystery live, do yourself two favors. First, pick up a copy of their recent full-length debut. Second, come to this show tonight and get your brain exploded and your sensitive spaces filled with demonic ginger seed. WM are the real deal. Show starts at 9pm, and there’s a $7 cover.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ix1YYSB1g80

SATURDAY:

My buddy at NoVo hipped me to a pretty cool show on Saturday, and now I’m gonna recommend it to you. Haven’t caught these acts live, but I perused their MySpace pages and all of them make some pretty unique sounds that should set your ears pleasurably a-tingle. Who are they, you ask? I answer: Pretty Little Empire, Brendan Losch, and David Safran. They all lean towards the quiet and agreeably weird, which is a pretty ringing endorsement coming from me (now that I’m old and can’t handle the spazzy stuff [If I could go off on a tangent here, and I think I can since you're not paying attention, I tried to spin Animal Collective's Strawberry Jam the other day and had to turn it off halfway through because it was irritating the holy shit out of me; I'm not sure if it's because I tried to play it during an intense Scrabble jam, or because my ears simply can't tolerate that level of chaos anymore, but Jesus Christ. I'm pretty sure we'll all look at Animal Collective in twenty years the way most rational people view the Grateful Dead: you had to be there, and you had to be on something {anything!}]). Anyways, this promises to be a solid, low-key show, and the perfect way to settle down after getting aurally gang-raped by the deviant bastards in Direct Hit! and White Mystery. It’s at the Chopin Theater, doors open at 9:30, and there’s a $6 cover charge (plus, as the press release so helpfully informs me, a cash bar). It’s 21+ so the kids are gonna need a sitter, again.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=WG4Rgtxd_N0

SUNDAY:

Sunday is Mother’s Day, which means you gotta spend some time with the woman that birthed you into this cacophonous and disorienting place we call “the world.” So do that -- take her out to brunch at Golden Corral, take her to see Iron Man 2, maybe even escort her to the church of her choice. But once you’re done with that, get ready to lose your goddamn shit: Converge is playing the Bottom Lounge. These hardcore legends will basically do to you what Jeffrey Dahmer did to really unlucky dudes in Milwaukee, and you’re gonna love it. Also on the bill: Coalesce, Black Breath, and Lewd Acts. If that doesn’t trigger your boner-reflex, you might need to see a doctor. This show is all ages, so bring the whole family, and it starts at the reasonable hour of 5pm. Tickets are $16. Get ready for your acid bath!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jjBinzryFY

We recently pretty  much liked the new MGMT disc, Congratulations. And we definitely respect the dudes for the way their freak flag flaps so spectacularly in the breeze of modern music. (Yeah, I actually just wrote that sentence.) So it’s with great excitement and delight that I present you with these videos of the dynamic duo rocking that most notorious of televised cultural institutions, Saturday Night Live. Here you go:

“Flash Delirium”:

“Brian Eno”:

MGMT:

• Official Site
• MySpace
• Last.fm

Here at Assault HQ, we know how difficult it is to plan a weekend in Chicago. With so much good live music to choose from (and so much alcohol to drink to while you listen), who can decide? We can. Just follow this itinerary and you’re guaranteed an awesome time:

Thursday:

Already have plans tonight? Cancel that shit, because The Streets On Fire are playing a FREE show at Double Door! Also playing: Conrad Richards, In Runes, and Paula Head. If these acts are unfamiliar to you, just remember that the cost is zero dollars and that I am commanding you to check this out. If the price is right, it’s guaranteed to be tight! And The Streets On Fire are absolutely rad; check out their MySpace if thou doth doubt me. Doors are at 8pm, the show starts at 9pm.

Friday:

Here’s one for all the oldsters: Mark Knopfler, the guitar genius behind all of those amazing Dire Straits songs from the ’80s that sound even better now, is playing the Chicago Theater. Tix range from $54 to $109, which is way more than I would ever advise you to spend on a single evening of music. But if you got the cash, I suggest you pony up and experience some real greatness while you can; this guy is an absolute powerhouse, and I’m guessing he’ll probably bust out some “Sultans of Swing” or “Romeo & Juliet” once he runs out of his songs from Get Lucky, his most recent solo release. Kick-off is at 7:30pm and Pieta Brown will also be around to entertain you.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_SEULZIHru0

Saturday:

On Saturday, if you’re looking for something different, Reggie’s Music Joint is offering a very special night featuring all-girl arm-wrestling, Muddy Udders (a band that describes themselves as “three pieces of pro-sumer Amero-trash with entitlement issues, energy, and talent”), and a Dead Milkmen tribute band called Born To Love Volcanos. I don’t really know what else to say about this, except that it sounds awesome and you’ll probably remember this night for the rest of your life. Arm-wrestling sign-up starts at 7pm, with the event officially kicking off at 9pm, and there’s a measly $5 cover that you can certainly afford given America’s recent return to economic awesomeness. I really think you should check this shit out.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zu8o3uj9oQ8

Sunday:

Get excited, because Sunday is gonna be an awesome day: White Rabbits are playing Metro, with support from Here We Go Magic and Pet Lions. I haven’t experienced HWGM yet, but I can tell you with real authority that Pet Lions are one of the top 5 bands in Chicago right now, and their Soft Right EP was one of my favorite things I heard last year. And, of course, the headliners themselves are nothing to scoff at -- their last disc, It’s Frightening, was ANOTHER of my fav spins in ’09. Sure, they sound a little too Spoon-y sometimes, but with B-Daniel taking 3 years between records now, can’t we maybe, possibly have room for a second Spoon? I think so. This 18+ show starts at 9pm (doors open at 8, if you wanna show up early and chug some ridiculously overpriced Miller Lite prior to the festivities), and tickets are $13 in advance, $15 on the day of. I highly recommend you check this out -- I’ll probably try to catch it myself if my corporate overlords don’t keep me at work too late.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2sIc5TsdkDQ

Here at Assault HQ, we know how difficult it is to plan a weekend in Chicago. With so much good live music to choose from (and so much alcohol to drink to while you listen), who can decide? We can. Just follow this itinerary and you’re guaranteed an awesome time:

Friday:

You must make choices in life; most of them are not easy. Friday is a pretty good example: on the one hand, local favorites Makeshift Prodigy are playing a record release show at Lasalle Power Company. You throw down five bucks, you get into the show and you get a complimentary drink (before 10pm). The doors open at 8:30 and you’ll be treated to one of the finest light shows in all of local music, plus some fairly rad tunes from their new disc Mathematica. But, on the other hand: Japandroids tearing shit up in a classic two-man fashion, spraying dreamy art-punk all over Lincoln Hall on the very same night! Tickets are $14, but they’re already sold out. But you might be able to find some on the internet or in front of the venue. Show up around 10pm, because that’s when the show starts. Also playing: Avi Buffalo and Lasers And Fast And Shit.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zychqu5CGZ4

Saturday:

If you like your indie rock a little weird and roughed up, check out the Smith Westerns at Schubas on Saturday. A mere $8 will gain you admittance, and you also get to watch Acrylics and Nurses. This show probably won’t change your life, but all of the bands are pretty promising and you can never go wrong when “Schubas” and “eight bucks” are keywords. It’s another late one, though, so make sure you schedule a nap in for the afternoon -- the show starts at 10pm.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=roUxwXHHW3A

Sunday:

K’naan, a dude who survived the Somalia Civil War and then grew up a Muslim immigrant in Canada, has a pretty fresh backstory. But guess what’s even fresher? His rhymes, motherfucker! Oh yeah, Sunday night is hip-hop night at Metro! K’naan will be performing a lot of songs from his most recent release, Troubadour. (Say the word “troubadour” aloud -- it’s hilarious.) And my boy Wale will be providing support! (Along with John Forte and Tabi Bonney.) Wale, I’m sorry I blocked you on Twitter, I still love all the stuff on your CD that was produced by Dave Sitek! Tickets are $20 now, $22 at the door, and the show starts at 7:30pm.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9M7XpHqeP0

Looking for something to do this Friday? Rest easy, Chicago friends: we’ve got just the show for you. Eco-punks Cobalt & The Hired Guns are opening for State Radio at Metro, and it promises to be an amazing show. Cobalt & The Hired Guns are absolutely one of the coolest bands around and they’re bringing the fire to your favorite venue. Also playing: Big D & The Kids Table. The doors open at 6pm and tickets are $21. A portion of the proceeds will benefit Calling All Crows, State Radio’s human rights-promoting service organization. So you’re rocking for a good cause, and you’re gonna hear some amazing tunes. For a little taste of what you can expect, watch this sweet video:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3G60gVsfQ0

Cobalt & The Hired Guns:

• MySpace & MySpace Acoustic
• Official Site
• Facebook
• GarageBand

Inbetween watching hours upon hours of Dexter on my PS3 I’ve been trying to catch as many small venue shows as I can every week without going broke. I’ve been a fan of smaller venues since my first rock show at the Fireside Bowl when I was 15. It was a great show--not only cause one of the bands was awesome--but because 2 of the bands were fucking terrible. (One of them was called, The Fux--no joke.)

The show this weekend at the Beat Kitchen was something I decided to check out because of a band I saw the day after Christmas, The Action Blast. We’re doing an interview on them this upcoming week, and with little, to no information about them on the Internet, I decided it was best to see a second showing of them live. I’m sure like many other Beat Kitchen virgins, I had no idea what time to get there to make sure I saw the show. Naturally, I showed up at 5pm, right when the doors opened, and nursed $2 Blatz beers for the next four hours.

Onasis

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bg0AclMymxY

It’s a tall order to open up at a small venue early in the earlier hours of the night for any band. Onasis had their work cut out for them, and with The FUX fresh in mind, I was almost sure I was going to have to retreat into the front half of Beat Kitchen to escape the noise, but I was pleasantly surprised to say the least. Onasis a great all around band that I think will be getting more attention as they spread the word. I grabbed a copy of their EP and have been listening to it all weekend. “We’re like Oasis, with an, ‘n,’ but pronounced Onaaasis.” Had a few laughs, and enjoyed the music too. My only advice to the guys is to put your track listing on the EP!

madeAVAIL

www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1jM364ThuQ

Solid all around band, and even had classic, “Hey!” chants with the audience--nothing gets me fist pumping faster. MadeAVAIL reminds me of a heavier version of Saves the Day--which is a major compliment. They’re also a band, “after my own heart.” They’ve started what they call their Resistance movement. An uphill battle as anyone involved with social movements knows--but an admirable mission no less. (Bonus points if you can name what movie I’m quoting above.)

Artifex Pereo

www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYmU6U3Yg08

Anthony from The Action Blast spoke very highly of these guys, and I wish I would have been able to see them, but they had van troubles and couldn’t make it to the show. Word is they need some help paying off the damages to their road vehicle. Check them out and help ‘em out if ya can.

The Fireship

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpdTugNkoU0

The Fireship brought the whole family to the show. Another solid local group that’s opening up for a local Chicago favorite Empires February 12th at Lincoln Hall. I’m already looking forward to it.

The Action Blast

One of my newest car-mix essential rock groups The Action Blast didn’t disappoint. I can’t help but think about a band from the past that also got started in Chicago that’s one of the most successful rock bands of late, Disturbed. Sprinkle in a bit of influence musically from what I think sounds a bit like mainstream favorites Coheed and Cambria and you have yourself a live rock show that we’ll be following closely here at Assault HQ. Same thing goes for you guys as the dudes from Onasis, write the tracklist on the EP! There’s one song I still can’t figure out the name of based on the MySpace.

Great show all around. Well worth the $8 bucks + $20 in Blatz beer, and another $20 on merch.