Joe is back in the studio, and tensions are inexplicably high as the guys discuss Drive, John Cusack movies, and Jim Connelly.

After a lengthy hiatus that had longtime Audio Assault fans in an uproar, Lab Notes is back! We’re discussing the new episode of Breaking Bad in a way that we never have before – with special guest star Tim Horna!

It’s the season 4 premiere of your Audio Assault! What did we do on our “vacay”? What was our favorite part of 13 Assassins? Is the new Lil Wayne album good enough to get him “off blast”? Listen for all this, plus a contest!

It’s the penultimate episode of Audio Assault’s groundbreaking, majestic, incomparable third season, and we’ve got a doozy: we watch the throne(s), we discuss the finer points of Robocop, and then we take a trip to the water park. Everybody gets a boner. Also: Joe had a missed connection at the library.

Today, Audio Assault becomes everything, all encompassing, massive: from technology to music to pure beauty, we’re riding a new frequency. Can you hear it? If you hear it, do you dig it?

Oswald, Jere, and Joe gather once again inside the Coffin Weed Studios to gab it out. What fat did they chew this week? Wal Mart’s unfair hiring practices, what jokes are appropriate to make at a dead junkie’s funeral, and Joe’s ridiculous anti-smoker prejudice. They shoulda called this show 2 Chill Bros and a Fuddy Duddy, but they didn’t. They called it Audio Assault.

Oswald and Jere are joined by semi-original cast members Joe Gibson and the After Party Timmy for a celebration of all things dick-related.

Summer pleasures are explored when our friend Richard Striano drops by Coffin Weed Studios to talk about music festivals, the Hangover Part II, and the helpfulness of racism. Also: we delve even deeper into Odd Future as opinions evolve, feelings change, and new friendships are forged in the fires of swag! swag! swag! Believe us when we say this is our best episode in years – but please know that we were far too high to remember any of the others.

It’s a very special episode because our friend Phil returns to the virtual studio with his trademark blend of insight and highness. The guys discuss Oswald’s promotion, Jere’s love of Panic! At The Disco, and the new Lady Gaga record. We never promised you a bed of roses, but here’s one anyway – another thorny, fragrant episode of America’s favorite amateur podcast.

Musical formats! Odd Future! California! The GOP!

Featured player Joe Gibson (and his sidekick Phoebe) took the week off, so we invited some of our friends over to play: our buddy Josh talks about a cop he saw outside of a dance club and the cloud of sadness that hangs over his head, while international #weed superstar Phil (soon to be seen in the new FX comedy Cat Daddies, premiering Nunday, June 32nd, at 4am) gives us the scoop on Natalie Portman’s butt and Captain Corelli’s mandolin. Also: Jere prepares for an upcoming anime convention.

Jere and Oswald are joined by Audio Assault’s original prodigal son, Jeremy Clymer, in yet another heart-destroying episode. The guys discuss the new Kanye West / Jay-Z collaboration, try to make sense of an extremely complicated record review, and then bask in the light of their own magnificent Picks and Dicks.

This episode of Audio Assault is a proverbial “instant classic.” It heralds the return of Dr. Joe Gibson, Assault.it’s reclusive advice columnist! He joins Oswald and Jere to talk about the new Harry Potter movie, the pros and cons of watching movies with other people, and the upcoming Quality Music Season. Then it’s time for Picks & Dicks, and things really get krazy! Plus: another installment of Gettin’ Old With Jeremy Clymer!

A very special episode of Audio Assault! We talk about car crashes, sweatpants, and the new Michael Jackson song, plus we’ve included the first half of Oswald’s interview with Geronimo!’s Benjamin Grigg!

In this thrilling new episode of America’s favorite assault-related podcast, Jere and Oswald go it alone, like two scrappy migrant workers furiously masturbating into the wind. They talk a little bit about hell, a lotta bit about Rihanna, and then they break all of existence down into general top 5 lists. All in all, it’s just another peculiar episode of the increasingly inconsistent AUDIO ASSAULT.

Oh Jesus Lordy, it’s the Season 2 premiere of Audio Assault! The guys (minus After Party Timmy, who had real work to do) band together once again and fight the powers that be – in this case, Taylor Swift, Rolling Stone, and shitty bands that make them feel like douches. Plus: the debut of Gettin’ Old W/ Jeremy Clymer!

In case you haven’t noticed, a lot of the people who write for Assault are what you might call “real classy guys.” We like to dress in tweed jackets, smoke pipes, and (when we’re not too busy tossing word-bombs at 30 Seconds To Mars) we sometimes even like to do a little old fashioned, rootin,’ tootin,’ straight-up creative writing. In that vein, I introduceAssault Cafe – a cozy little corner of the site where the arty-farty types can get together and share their passion for putting sentences together. For our next installment, I present Jere Pilapil’s “The Pope Case.”