So we like molotov cocktails, and fire

After a night of mildly drunken tom-foolery not so long ago, we decided it would be interesting to aimlessly throw around some  molotov cocktails in an uninhabited neighborhood under the supervision of professionals–fun for the whole family.

During our crusade, we discovered two things: 1) how exciting  it is to pretend you’re an anarchic gangster, and 2)  it would be awesome to be Indiana Jones. But, with those two dreams hopelessly removed from the reality of our day to day struggles as t-shirt shop owners, we thought it’d be fun to set some of our inventory on fire in true pyro fashion. So we bring to you a rescue mission of sorts: while we don’t want to set our prized shirts on fire  – they were made in America, after all – we just can’t help ourselves.

If you think you’d like to rescue one of these shirts from being put down like a stray dog having a real bad day at the animal shelter, then you should head over to our store and buy one  (or two, or three) before we go all twelve-year-old-with-a-magnifying-glass on this shit. Please, rescue one of our fledgling t-shirt orphans in true liberal style. Have at it thou mangled boil-brained pigeon-egg!

Go to the store to get shirts for $15.99 that we’re never selling again

The first Assault Apparel item Craig and Tim have seen first hand, (via photo on the internet) This print features an oversized design done completely in black on a white American Apparel 50/50 Jersey T-shirt. (sorry girls, for now it’s guys only)

The print is oversized and goes over the seam as well as over the collar. It easily adds 3 inches to your forearms and 10 inches to your chest muscles. (even if you have moobs, we’re all gonna be there some day anyways)

It being that this was one of the designs that came to light via some hardcore miller lite drinking and house music listening, I highly recommend you wear this shirt to the club and to any important presidential speeches, especially if you’re gonna be on TV. We need all the free press weez kin git!

Like it? Hate it? Want to download the photoshop brushes? Let us know.