Oh snap! Local sleaze-rockers (and Assault favorites!) The Streets On Fire have released a new video for their song “Astronaut Love Triangle”! The video was filmed right here in Chicago, and was directed by Daniel Ryan and Aaron Edwards. This shit is so tight that Kanye West could conceivably wear it as pants while performing at an awards show. If you like it, make sure to pick a copy of their record This Is Fancy; your best opportunity to do so is this Friday (12/3) at Beat Kitchen, where they’re performing with Emcee Phase and Magic Milk.*

*In case you don’t know, Magic Milk is fucking amazing. I watched them decimate a crowd of Wrigleyville Chads at Rockit two weeks ago, and it was phenomenal.

The first song that clicked with me on Jonny Rumble‘s new album JR was the mid-album barnburner “Courtney’s Basement;” it sounds exactly like Kings Of Leon’s early stuff, with a straight-forward arrangement and spazzy riffs. The rest of the disc, I wasn’t so sure of – so I kept listening. And that turned out to be key, because Jonny Rumble do so much stuff here, jumping from style to style and throwing so many melodic curveballs, that JR is just not easily digestible. But: it’s pretty short at thirty minutes, which means you can listen to it 48 times in one day. That should be enough spins to get you acclimated.

The band’s influences range far and wide; the disc can feel a little schizophrenic at first. There are three constants, as I can tell: 1) They like to keep things funky – the vibe is that of a crowded city street at night, with touches of reggae and soul that elevate their blend of alt-country and garage-y punk to “instant party-starter” status. 2) Brian Webb’s passionate vocals, which make every song feel like a shot to the gut. And 3) These guys really dig in and play; the songs don’t merely sit there and request your attention, they reach out and invite you to dance. (Or, in the case of first single “BRZRKR” and the aforementioned “Courtney’s Basement,” they karate chop you in the neck.)

Opener “Cox Road” is deep and wide, with slinky wah-wah’ed guitars and some tinkling piano. I usually like a record to start with the hardest and fastest material first, just to wake me up, but this is more of a head-nodder than a foot-stomper, and that’s okay too. In fact, the band’s softer moment’s are some of JR‘s best – “Stumped” has a spaced-out Flaming Lips vibe that’s a nice contrast to all of the head-bustin’ and booty-shakin’ going on around it (and the “ba-ba-bas” will steal your heart, as “ba-ba-bas” are prone to do), and “Time,” the album’s last song, throws some glorious pedal steel into the mix.

JR is a textbook grower; what all seemed like a little too much at first now makes perfect sense, and I want more. If your tastes run toward the eclectic (and you think it would be awesome for Kings Of Leon to cover an Elvis Costello song from 1983, which is kind of what the best moments sound like), this is the disc for you. It’s available now for free download from Rock Proper, although I recommend you scoop up the $13 vinyl edition. It may take a few listens, but you’ll get hooked. Jonny Rumble is a hell of a drug!

(Jonny Rumble are playing a record release show tonight [6/25] at Beat Kitchen. California Wives and You Can Be A Wesley also throw down. The doors open at 8:3opm, it’s 21+, and tickets are $6. Be there, or miss the Assault Party Death Squad getting buckwild on the dancefloor.)

Here at Assault HQ, we know how difficult it is to plan a weekend in Chicago. With so much good live music to choose from (and so much alcohol to drink to while you listen), who can decide? We can. Just follow this itinerary and you’re guaranteed an awesome time:

FRIDAY

We’ve made no secret here at Assault.it of our affection for Michigan pop-punkers The Swellers, and that train of pure and righteous love keeps rolling: they’re playing a headlining show at the infamous Beat Kitchen tonight. So basically, one of our favorite bands at one of our favorite venues -- we’re contractually obligated (via a contract w/ ourselves) to recommend this. GO TO IT! Also playing: NY hardcore up-and-comers Crime In Stereo, This Time Next Year, and The Minor League. If you’re thinking about not going to this, take a deep breath, punch yourself in the nuts, and get a clue! Tickets are $10, doors open at 6:30pm, and it’s all ages -- bring your younger brothers!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fhc6_BTWFjY

SATURDAY

This is a good one: Murder By Death, one of my personal favorites, are playing at Reggie’s Rock Club with openers Ha Ha Tonka (another Assault fav) and Linfinity. MBD just released a new disc called Good Morning, Magpie, and I’m guessing they’ll play some new songs, as well as a fair sprinkling of their tremendously awesome back catalog. Seriously: both Who Will Survive And What Will Be Left Of Them and In Bocca El Lupo are stone-cold classics, and you should not miss this show. It’s gonna be a night of foot-stompin,’ whiskey-drinkin,’ and cello-shreddin.’ Doors open at 7pm for this all ages show, and tickets are a mere $15.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zt2Sf2-o94g

SUNDAY

Friday you did the pop-punk thing, Saturday you did the saloon-rock thing -- finish your weekend by checking out some more up-to-date music at Subterranean with the good, weird sounds of Coltrane Motion and You, You’re Alright (along with California Wives and Tell Your Friends.) You, You’re Alright are of particular interest to me, mostly because they list “Nintendo DS” as one of their instruments. (We really like video games.) But, srsly, this should be a fun show, and tickets are only eight bucks -- you can’t go wrong at that price, especially on a Sunday when the only other decent thing going on is Reggie’s, um, crawfish boil. So check it out -- $8, doors open at 7:30pm, and it’s 21+.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKSLM0MD4IA

White Mystery really sound like Chicago. Their murkily recorded primal noise is the aural equivalent of dimly-lit bars and sludge-strewn winter streets; this is some serious fight music. The latest project from Alex White (of Miss Alex White & The Red Orchestra), White Mystery pairs her ferocious, distortion-drenched guitar leads leads and snarled/shouted vocals with brother Francis’s propulsive drumming. So, yeah, it’s a brother/sister garage rock band, and their last name is White. Whatever -- this is like the White Stripes circa-De Stijl, right before they started writing “real” songs and mostly aimed to create the most vicious electric blues racket possible, with occasional dollops of melodic sweetness to make it all officially boss.

WHITE MYSTERY LIVE AT RECKLESS RECORDS IN CHICAGO 3/14/10 PHOTO BY MATT JENCIK

But enough about the other White band. White Mystery are their own group, with their floppy red hair (seriously) and distinctly Chicago aesthetic -- the fourteen songs featured here are all authentically rude and no-bullshit in their approach and attack, clocking in at just a hair over thirty minutes. “White Widow” begins the assault at full force -- mere seconds after pressing “play” and you are White Mystery’s bitch. The main lyrical theme -- “You can’t tell us what to do!” -- appears here and guides the rest of the album like a mission statement.

With the sheer number of songs here (and their obvious sonic similarity to each other), I figured this thing would chunk out about halfway through and become a snooze. But no, some of the most serious piledrivers dominate the back half -- “Don’t Hold My Hand,” “Halloween,” and “Respect Yourself” kick up the most dust in an incredible three-track run at almost the exact point the average listener might start losing interest.

This is a remarkably consistent (and consistently delightful) record, played with maximum nerve and a slightly menacing twinkle in the eye. It’s primo shit: listening to the disc is like being in the eye of a tornado, with houses and cows and other crazy shit flying around in a whirlwind of dirt and rocks; thinking back on the experience later is like watching the movie Twister. Seeing the band live. though, is like being Bill Paxton in the movie Twister.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DJSy4GwZqQ

White Mystery

• MySpace
• Official Site
• Flickr
• Facebook

It was with mild trepidation that I ventured out this past Saturday night to check out Jemina Pearl rocking Beat Kitchen. I knew Ms. Pearl would deliver an amazing show, and I knew that the $2 Blatz beers would flow like wine. But the evening promised to combine my two worst fears: 1) geeking out in front of someone whose music I genuinely adore, and 2) hipsters. So I made sure to arrive at Third World Timmy’s apartment with a few hours to spare, which we spent pounding Coors Light and watching television with official Assault mascot Miz Jodi. By the time nine o’clock rolled around, we were so blitzed that we had only two things in mind: a full-on Chicago-style rock attack, and chicken nachos. Needless to say, shit was about to get real.

After consuming some almost totally chip-less nachos (seriously) and braving the icy stare-downs of about twenty five dudes sporting ironic facial hair and Rivers Cuomo glasses, we piled up in front of the stage and waited to get elevated by the power of indie rock. Swiss Dots, the first band on the bill, did not disappoint. They’re a refreshingly mixed-gender (two dudes, two ladies) Chicago four-piece that play tough-but-sweet rock ‘n’ roll. I wish I could describe their music in a little more detail, but honestly I was already about six Blatzes into it and their MySpace is comically bare-bones. But fear not, rabid music-lovers – I’m gonna find them, ask them questions, and report back to you in 1-2 weeks. And hopefully link to a couple of their songs, because they’re pretty great and you’ll definitely get at least a half-chub if you mix them into your “Get High and Stare At Shit” playlist. (They have both Devo and Gang Of Four in their Top Friends, so that should give you an idea of the general vibe.)

Next up was White Mystery, by far the best opening band I’ve ever seen. It’s a brother/sister duo, their last name is White, and they play stripped-down garage rock. But before you get cynical, take a listen to the tunes on their MySpace (or, preferably, check out their next show – shit sounds incredible live). The sister is Miss Alex White (of Miss Alex White & the Red Orchestra fame); she sings and plays guitar. The brother is Francis White, and he drums. They both have crazy red hair and insane amounts of charisma; the band suffered some technical difficulties midway through their set and Francis entertained the crowd by smoking a forbidden cigarette (given to him by everybody’s favorite Internet Blogging Sensation, Oswald Hobbes).* White Mystery is the first band I’ve ever randomly seen at a show and immediately thought to myself, “That’s the greatest band I’ve ever heard, and I want to bear their children.” So, White Mystery, if you’re reading this – IMPREGNATE ME WITH YOUR DEMON GINGER SEED!!!!

While White Mystery was playing, Third World and myself decided to have a quick cigarette ourselves before the main attraction started. On our way to the door, I noticed Ms. Pearl and her ace sideman John Eatherly hanging out, so I suavely sidled up and gave them one of Third World’s business card. Eatherly looked at me like I was nuts, but that was probably because words wouldn’t seem to exit my mouth correctly and my eyes kept darting from side to side in the most suspicious fashion imaginable. Maybe having a business card handed to you by t-shirt entrepreneurs at a music venue is the real-life equivalent of being offered moneygrams by a Nigerian prince. If so, I’m okay with that; awkward encounters like this are just part of building my brand, which I’m told by my social media guru is very important.

Anyway, when Ms. Pearl and her band (with Eatherly absolutely killing on guitar) finally took the stage, all of my worries and cynicism evaporated and I started rocking the fuck out. In case you’ve been living under Taliban rule or you just don’t care about awesome music, Jemina Pearl was the incredibly awesome frontwoman for Nashville uber-punks Be Your Own Pet. They made two full-lengths and then split, which made me incredibly sad – until I picked up Ms. Pearl’s solo disc, Break It Up, at which point I was too busy dancing and punching walls to feel any emotion besides PURE RAWK FURY. I don’t know if I’m technically the desired audience for this kind of music, being a suburban internet troll with a lousy haircut and an extensive collection of Mastodon t-shirts, but Break It Up was easily my favorite record of ’09.** Plus, any record that actually begins with the line “It’s not all the cocaine” is A-OK in my book.

I expected Ms. Pearl’s set to be a totally transcendent, borderline-orgasmic experience, and I was not disappointed at all. (Well, I was a little disappointed that she didn’t punch anybody.) But she danced a lot, and sang beautifully (she doesn’t get nearly enough credit for her chops – she’s on the same level as Hayley Williams, and Hayley Williams is the greatest singer since Kelly Clarkson, and if you think that any of this is in any way “gay” or “not metal,” I’ll be the first one to agree), and she even told the audience how to properly pronounce her first name. (The “i” sounds like “ee”) That’s helpful advice, but it made all my friends look at me funny because I’ve been saying it wrong for about 3 years now. A little part of me was bummed that they didn’t rip into any Be Your Own Pet material, but it was a very, very litle part,*** as the Break It Up songs get more rotation in my car than anything from the BYOP catalog. Once in a while a CD comes along that sounds exactly the way you think music should sound, and that’s the case here.

After the show, Third World and I got another chance to talk to Ms. Pearl, and it was even more awkward than my first encounter, but that’s a whole other blog and I’ve already exceeded my word count. So, to sum up: Beat Kitchen is an awesome venue, hipsters and weird nachos aside, and the people who work there seem totally cool. Swiss Dots are delightful and mysterious. White Mystery are absolutely BEAST (as my twelve year-old brother would say) and I’m definitely going to start cyber-stalking them as soon as I finish this blog. And Jemina Pearl played an excellent show that made my heart joyful with childish exuberance and whimsical glee. The only bad part of the night, really, was my hangover the next day, but that’s truly a small price for an absolutely legendary show.

–

*The cigarette was extinguished pretty quickly, but it was funny while it lasted. And I got to hear Miz Jodi scold me for “contributing to a felony.” (I’m pretty sure that smoking indoors is not yet a felony in Chicago, although I’m sure they’ll try to swing that by 2020.)

** I know I previously stated that at least three other records were my favorites from last year, but Break It Up is the one that I keep going back to. It literally never gets old.

***Not the part you’re thinking of, so don’t try to burn me in the comments section. I’ll murder your family.

Jemina Pearl Inside Your Computer:

• Puke Til You Punk
• MySpace
• Photo Set of Jemina Pearl on Flickr

Inbetween watching hours upon hours of Dexter on my PS3 I’ve been trying to catch as many small venue shows as I can every week without going broke. I’ve been a fan of smaller venues since my first rock show at the Fireside Bowl when I was 15. It was a great show--not only cause one of the bands was awesome--but because 2 of the bands were fucking terrible. (One of them was called, The Fux--no joke.)

The show this weekend at the Beat Kitchen was something I decided to check out because of a band I saw the day after Christmas, The Action Blast. We’re doing an interview on them this upcoming week, and with little, to no information about them on the Internet, I decided it was best to see a second showing of them live. I’m sure like many other Beat Kitchen virgins, I had no idea what time to get there to make sure I saw the show. Naturally, I showed up at 5pm, right when the doors opened, and nursed $2 Blatz beers for the next four hours.

Onasis

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bg0AclMymxY

It’s a tall order to open up at a small venue early in the earlier hours of the night for any band. Onasis had their work cut out for them, and with The FUX fresh in mind, I was almost sure I was going to have to retreat into the front half of Beat Kitchen to escape the noise, but I was pleasantly surprised to say the least. Onasis a great all around band that I think will be getting more attention as they spread the word. I grabbed a copy of their EP and have been listening to it all weekend. “We’re like Oasis, with an, ‘n,’ but pronounced Onaaasis.” Had a few laughs, and enjoyed the music too. My only advice to the guys is to put your track listing on the EP!

madeAVAIL

www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1jM364ThuQ

Solid all around band, and even had classic, “Hey!” chants with the audience--nothing gets me fist pumping faster. MadeAVAIL reminds me of a heavier version of Saves the Day--which is a major compliment. They’re also a band, “after my own heart.” They’ve started what they call their Resistance movement. An uphill battle as anyone involved with social movements knows--but an admirable mission no less. (Bonus points if you can name what movie I’m quoting above.)

Artifex Pereo

www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYmU6U3Yg08

Anthony from The Action Blast spoke very highly of these guys, and I wish I would have been able to see them, but they had van troubles and couldn’t make it to the show. Word is they need some help paying off the damages to their road vehicle. Check them out and help ‘em out if ya can.

The Fireship

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpdTugNkoU0

The Fireship brought the whole family to the show. Another solid local group that’s opening up for a local Chicago favorite Empires February 12th at Lincoln Hall. I’m already looking forward to it.

The Action Blast

One of my newest car-mix essential rock groups The Action Blast didn’t disappoint. I can’t help but think about a band from the past that also got started in Chicago that’s one of the most successful rock bands of late, Disturbed. Sprinkle in a bit of influence musically from what I think sounds a bit like mainstream favorites Coheed and Cambria and you have yourself a live rock show that we’ll be following closely here at Assault HQ. Same thing goes for you guys as the dudes from Onasis, write the tracklist on the EP! There’s one song I still can’t figure out the name of based on the MySpace.

Great show all around. Well worth the $8 bucks + $20 in Blatz beer, and another $20 on merch.