Review: Rick Ross – Teflon Don

“Right now, I could rewrite history / I stopped writing / So fuck it, I’ll do it mentally,” Rick Ross raps on “Free Mason,” his showcase with Jay-Z early on Teflon Don, his latest album. In a lot of ways, this lyric is the key to Ross’s power; dude literally is re-inventing his history and his present. All of art is filled with people inventing their own lives, but few do it as seductively as Rick Ross. The preposterous amount of drug talk he brings to the table is cartoonish, especially for a former corrections officer. But if you’re gonna live a dream, live a big one, right?

Part of the charm is the strength of the beats he picks. Stylish synths on “All the Money in the World” are punctuated by a theremin while the rhythm claps in the back. Erykah Badu’s guest spot adds soul to “Maybach Music III,” which also features cocky-as-shit verses by TI* and Jadakiss. Subtle guitars on “Free Mason” give that song muscle worthy of a Ross/Jay-Z team up. It makes all of Ross’s various boasts and variations on “I’m a coke-hocking yacht enthusiast” more than bearable, and even seductive.

And seductive it must be if Ross’s modus operandi is going to work. A rapper with a baritone can be a convincing factor. To listen to Teflon Don is to be convinced that not only does Ross fucking love partying on boats, but that partying on boats is the epitome of lifestyle possibilities. Your goals to have a family and get a promotion are bullshit; you should be aiming for a life of champagne on the docks, fool. Hell, “MC Hammer” convinces my heart that I would want to be MC Hammer, even if my head screams “MC Hammer went broke.”

While Outkast will make a trippy, outrageous extension of the real world, Ross’ strategy is to max out every image of success to create an equally outrageous world of his own. He’s an infomercial for his own fantasies (some of which might be real now that he’s a world(?)-famous rapper). What Teflon Don succeeds at doing compared to its predecessor, Deeper than Rap, is making the scope of his style bigger. Opener “I’m Not a Star” brings a hyperactive beat that builds and builds while Ross – formerly not a great rapper (lowercase “g”) – keeps up.

There’s nothing deep about what Rick Ross does, but there’s something ultimately entertaining and motivating about it. “Motivating” in the sense that the best cuts from his discography should play a part in most house parties (and every yacht party, natch). He’s also improved on the mic; not to any legendary status, but at least enough to not be a clumsy rapper anymore. The music itself will always be his strength, though. If a major part of being a mainstream rapper is picking humongous, catchy beats, Ross has more than earned his spot.

*This is my third hip-hop review in a row to mention a great TI guest verse. If King Uncaged disappoints, I think I will be utterly crushed.

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Jere is not from Chicago. Nor is he from Parts Unknown. But he sure loves to hear things. Follow him on Twitter!

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