Music Video Hell #5: The VentriloChoir

Now that MTV has about as much to do with music as KFC has to do with Kentucky, the Internet has become our primary source for music videos. With the Internet, though, there is no filter. It’s hard to separate the wheat from the chaff. Well here, puppets and puppeteers, is the chaff. It’s your penance for a lifetime of sins: Music Video Hell.

I fucking hate ventriloquists. I hate them with a passion only rivaled only by my hatred for mimes. Why do I hate them so much? Well, for one thing, they’re never funny. Ever. I’m not sure how Jeff Dunham got his own show on Comedy Central, but thank goodness it was cancelled after only one season because otherwise I would have lost all faith in humanity. The other reason I hate ventriloquists, though, is because they’re creepy and wrong. Exhibit A: a ventriloquist choir given their 15 minutes of fame by Conan O’Brien back in the ‘90s. They’re known as the VentriloChoir, and they are the stuff of nightmares.

In this video, the VentriloChoir is appearing on Hungarian television, where they were invited to appear based on their prior work with Conan. They are performing a cover of The Beatles’ “Yesterday” for their Hungarian audience, and I’m sure Ringo Starr’s career is rolling in its grave. I may have done you a disservice by telling you the back story, because really the video is best enjoyed out of context. However, even knowing what you now know about them, I’m fairly confident this video will still make you piss your pants in terror.

I don’t know what became of the VentriloChoir after this performance. I’m sure I could find out on Wikipedia, but I’d only hate myself if I put that much thought into the matter. Whatever their fate in real life, they will live on forever in the ethers of the Internet, where nothing is allowed to die. Ever. No matter how absurd it is. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go try to drink away the memory of those awful ventriloquist dolls and their cold, dead eyes.

Like this post? Bookmark it!

Email to a friend

About the Author

Jeremy Clymer lives in Michigan with his wife and kid. He shoots his writings out into the ethers of the Internet in the hopes that someone will pick up on his transmissions and shower him with money and/or praise.

Email this Author | All posts by Jeremy Clymer

Comments are closed.