Assault The Weekend! (4/22/10)

April 22nd, 2010 by Oswald Hobbes / Comment on this post

Here at Assault HQ, we know how difficult it is to plan a weekend in Chicago. With so much good live music to choose from (and so much alcohol to drink to while you listen), who can decide? We can. Just follow this itinerary and you’re guaranteed an awesome time:

Thursday:

Already have plans tonight? Cancel that shit, because The Streets On Fire are playing a FREE show at Double Door! Also playing: Conrad Richards, In Runes, and Paula Head. If these acts are unfamiliar to you, just remember that the cost is zero dollars and that I am commanding you to check this out. If the price is right, it’s guaranteed to be tight! And The Streets On Fire are absolutely rad; check out their MySpace if thou doth doubt me. Doors are at 8pm, the show starts at 9pm.

Friday:

Here’s one for all the oldsters: Mark Knopfler, the guitar genius behind all of those amazing Dire Straits songs from the ’80s that sound even better now, is playing the Chicago Theater. Tix range from $54 to $109, which is way more than I would ever advise you to spend on a single evening of music. But if you got the cash, I suggest you pony up and experience some real greatness while you can; this guy is an absolute powerhouse, and I’m guessing he’ll probably bust out some “Sultans of Swing” or “Romeo & Juliet” once he runs out of his songs from Get Lucky, his most recent solo release. Kick-off is at 7:30pm and Pieta Brown will also be around to entertain you.

Saturday:

On Saturday, if you’re looking for something different, Reggie’s Music Joint is offering a very special night featuring all-girl arm-wrestling, Muddy Udders (a band that describes themselves as “three pieces of pro-sumer Amero-trash with entitlement issues, energy, and talent”), and a Dead Milkmen tribute band called Born To Love Volcanos. I don’t really know what else to say about this, except that it sounds awesome and you’ll probably remember this night for the rest of your life. Arm-wrestling sign-up starts at 7pm, with the event officially kicking off at 9pm, and there’s a measly $5 cover that you can certainly afford given America’s recent return to economic awesomeness. I really think you should check this shit out.

Sunday:

Get excited, because Sunday is gonna be an awesome day: White Rabbits are playing Metro, with support from Here We Go Magic and Pet Lions. I haven’t experienced HWGM yet, but I can tell you with real authority that Pet Lions are one of the top 5 bands in Chicago right now, and their Soft Right EP was one of my favorite things I heard last year. And, of course, the headliners themselves are nothing to scoff at -- their last disc, It’s Frightening, was ANOTHER of my fav spins in ’09. Sure, they sound a little too Spoon-y sometimes, but with B-Daniel taking 3 years between records now, can’t we maybe, possibly have room for a second Spoon? I think so. This 18+ show starts at 9pm (doors open at 8, if you wanna show up early and chug some ridiculously overpriced Miller Lite prior to the festivities), and tickets are $13 in advance, $15 on the day of. I highly recommend you check this out -- I’ll probably try to catch it myself if my corporate overlords don’t keep me at work too late.