Assault The Weekend! (3/25/10)

March 25th, 2010 by Oswald Hobbes / Comment on this post

Here at Assault HQ, we know how difficult it is to plan a weekend in Chicago. With so much good live music to choose from (and so much alcohol to drink to while you listen), who can decide? We can. Just follow this itinerary and you’re guaranteed an awesome time:

FRIDAY:

You can kick your weekend off in delightfully kooky style with Assault favorites The Maybenauts (and their chums The Demerits) when they play a place called Cigars & Stripes in Berwyn. I’ve never experienced this place firsthand, but apparently it’s an awesome bar with a tiny stage, so you’ll be real close to the action. Also, I’m guessing drinks are gonna be pretty cheap, considering the location and all -- should be a sloppy good time with a couple of awesome Chicago bands. (C&S apparently has a Smoke Shoppe which features “over 100 brands of fine cigars.” I’m guessing Mr. 51% pretty much lives here when he’s in the Berwyn area.)

OR: If you want something a little more traditional, in a larger setting, with a more mainstream vibe, Tegan and Sara are bringing their special rock’n'roll sounds to the Aragon. Tickets for this will run ya $32.75, which I don’t consider a great value for your money. But if I had unlimited resources, I’d go just to see them tear through “Hell” alone. That shit is catchy! (The doors open at 7pm and it’s all ages.)

SATURDAY:

On Saturday, I recommend you throw down $25 for a ticket to the late show at Schubas: superstar brothers Dan and Matt Wilson, who have a combined history that includes popular favorites like Trip Shakespeare, The Twilight Hours, and Semisonic (and yes, it’s the Semisonic you’re thinking of -- the ones responsible for one of the catchiest, most awesome songs of the 90s: “Closing Time”). This will probably be an evening of much gentle melodic delight, so pack a few funny pills and enjoy the ride. The late show starts at 1opm and, as stated, tickets are a whopping $25 -- but this is kind of a special occasion. Also: the show is 21+, so grab a babysitter for the younguns.

OR: Conversely, if you’re not looking for subtlety, charm, or wit, and you just want some hot rock sauce poured down your pants, Stone Temple Pilots are bringing their reunion juju to the Riv. I wanted to check these guys out on their first comeback go-round a few years ago, just to see if they’d stack up to my memories of listening to Purple when I was twelve, but didn’t make it out. I’ll probably miss this one, too (unless $58.50 [+service charges] falls into my lap and I don’t need it for anything else, which is slightly less likely than Scott Weiland staying clean for the duration of this tour), but damn if I don’t sometimes dream about pumping my first to “Vaseline” in 2010. Oh well. Tickets are seriously sixty bucks apiece, and the show starts at 7:30pm.

SUNDAY:

For Sunday, Reggie’s Rock Club has a real doozy for you: Nemesis Entertainment’s Double Strength Rock Fest, which features no less than seven bands for only $9 -- that evens out to $1.28 per band (if my math can be trusted), and I think we can all agree that’s a fair going rate for the rock these days. The bands are Standby Radio, Little Boy Jr, F.H.O.D., Arrange For Use, Falling In Fate, Six Ways From Sunday, and Parkinglot Firesex. If that doesn’t sound like a spectacular Sunday evening to you, you don’t drink nearly enough Red Bull -- and you probably hide your balls in a jar for “safe keeping.” Come on, guys! (Also: ladies.) Let’s do this shit. It’s an all-ages show, it starts at 5pm, and it’s only NINE DOLLARS. That’s the cost of a movie, almost, and you’re bound to hear something you like from this ragtag crew of musical mercenaries.