Ten Track Ones That Explooj Your Brains!

February 17th, 2010 by Oswald Hobbes / Comment on this post

We’ve all done it -- you purchase a new CD, rip the cellophane off, and pop the disc into your personal stereo system, prepared for an hour-long musical journey with peaks, valleys, and (hopefully) a convoluted semi-story that never quite makes sense but provides a helpful through-line across the dozen or so tracks presented. But after listening to the first track, something strange happens -- you go back, listen again, and then repeat that process for the remainder of the day, never quite making it through the rest of the album. And that incredible first song becomes, in your mind, the entire disc, rendering all proceeding tracks red-headed stepchildren you wouldn’t even toss an empty beercan at. These moments are magical, and I’ve compiled a list -- following closely my bastardized “scientifc method” of drinking Coors Light and throwing all my CDs in a big pile on the floor -- of the most penis-pulverizing track 1′s ever to melt your speakers. Here we go:

The Thermals -- “Here’s Your Future” (The Body, The Blood, The Machine)

Every album needs a hard-charging opener to grab the listener’s interest, but it might not be a great idea to kick shit off with the most exciting song of all time. Lead Thermal Hutch Harris apparently heard Green Day’s American Idiot and thought he could do the same thing a little bit better, and that’s what The Body, The Blood, The Machine accomplishes, with half the bombast and a fraction of the running time. It all begins with this shorthand re-telling of some popular biblical myths, which is way more fun than Sunday school ever was -- plus, there’s a teeth-rattling guitar solo. The rest of the disc is similarly amazing, but the band never quite scales this height again.

Alkaline Trio -- “Calling All Skeletons” (Agony & Irony)

Alkaline Trio always come correct with an awesome first track (to wit: “Cringe,” “Keep ‘Em Coming,” “Private Eye,” “This Could Be Love,” “Time To Waste”) but their Agony & Irony opener is something truly special. On a disc that found the boys trying hard to diversify their sound and manufacture the angst that came so naturally in their younger days, “Calling All Skeletons” is the one song that really brings the pain.

The National -- “Secret Meeting” (Alligator)

The first track of the National’s third album, Alligator, is one of their most transcendentally beautiful; it’s where they start playing around with their instruments in new and innovative ways, creating the formula that would lead to the breathtakingly awesome Boxer a couple years later. But “Secret Meeting” creams almost everything else in the band’s catalog -- it’s wide open, with plenty of room for Matt Berninger’s warm baritone to drop the kind of mysterious, borderline-nonsensical lyrics that are like catchphrases for sad hipsters. True story: For one (very weird) year, the greeting on my voicemail said “Sorry I missed your call, but I had a secret meeting in the basement of my brain.”

Mastodon -- “Blood And Thunder” (Leviathan)

Mastodon have become a better, smarter, more complex and intellectually stimulating band since Leviathan broke through to a seriously big audience in 2004, but they haven’t written a song that tops “Blood And Thunder.” A perennial concert staple and probably the most popular track in their catalog, “Blood And Thunder” is pure adrenalin, a battle cry set to the kind of crushing power chords and elemental rhythm that are straight-up undeniable. One of the coolest things I’ve ever seen was Mastodon performing this at the Pitchfork festival in 2007 and clearing out a bunch of feeble hipsters; they just weren’t ready for the brutality.

Death Cab For Cutie -- “Bixby Canyon Bridge” (Narrow Stairs)

On paper, this sounds like an awful idea: Popular emo band approaches middle age, gets depressed, and try to commune with the spirit of Jack Kerouac. But it actually plays as majestic and inspired, and sets the stage for DCFC’s most instrumentally forceful disc (which, admittedly, isn’t saying too much). Ben Gibbard is always at his best when he’s reaching for something that’s just a little out of reach, and “Bixby Canyon Bridge” is his most winningly bittersweet composition since he got started in this hipster sadness game.

Queens Of The Stone Age -- “Regular John” (Queens Of The Stone Age)

Queens Of The Stone Age’s first disc, long out-of-print at this point, is a prime slab of dirty psychedelic scuzz. It lacks, however, the group’s eventual pop smarts, focusing instead on pure red-meat brutality. “Regular John” is the lone exception -- it’s beefy and primal, to be sure, but it also features ingenious guitar squiggles and some of Josh Homme’s patented vulnerable-tough-guy lyrics. The proceeding tracks get a little boring and samey under their blanket of impenetrable sludge, but “Regular John” is a laser-sharp harbinger of great songs to come.

Midlake -- “Roscoe” (The Trials Of Van Occupanther)

Midlake’s The Trials Of Van Occupanther is kind of a snooze -- people compared it to the Eagles, but the Eagles were way more fun than the turgid dirges strewn throughout that record. But first track “Roscoe” is a different story entirely -- compared to the languid remainder of the disc, “Roscoe” moves at light speed. The brisk tempo is accented by one of the band’s most haunting melodies; a lot of their stuff veers into “Radiohead minus technology” territory, but “Roscoe” is totally singular in both concept and execution.

MGMT -- “Time To Pretend” (Oracular Spectacular)

MGMT’s debut disc, Oracular Spectacular, is fun but somewhat slight -- they can write great songs, but not all the time, yet. “Time To Pretend” is (along with “Kids”) elaborate proof of their songwriting capabilities; it’s tongue-in-cheek but also genuine, an undercurrent of melancholy burbling just underneath the big farty synths. Dudes start off singing about marrying models and shooting smack, but a minute later they’re ticking off all the things they’ll miss about childhood. Which reminds you that they’re still kids, sort of, and that’s why this isn’t obnoxious.

Basement Jaxx -- “Romeo” (Rooty)

This is one of those weird circumstances where I heard a song on the radio and became obsessed with it; it took me three weeks to find out who performed it, and another couple to track down a copy of it (I believe I eventually picked it up at a Borders in Chicago). I’d like to say Rooty became one of my favorite albums, but it didn’t, because I’d rather listen to Prince than stuff that sounds like Prince, but foofier. (Same reason I don’t dig Of Montreal.) But “Romeo” is a song that makes me do a little dance whenever I hear it.

Sonic Youth -- “Schizophrenia” (Sister)

“Schizophrenia” is a song for people who don’t think they like Sonic Youth but are willing to be convinced otherwise -- it’s gentle and pretty at first, with dissonance slowly creeping in, and the vocal is clever rather obnoxious. Sister marks the point where SY felt comfortable letting their songcraft carry the day, with crazy guitar-tunings and pseudo-Beat lyrical experimentation riding shotgun. “Schizophrenia” is the announcement of a new Sonic Youth, and while the rest of the album is almost equally strong, it never quite matches the initial shock and awesomeness found here.