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Biz master Craig’s marketing and business buzzwords

After a few long weeks months of starting of a business (and all the complications that go with it), I have finally made myself available to come here and post. I’m not good with technology. I’m not good with marketing. I don’t know what it means when Timmy yells at me for trying to transfer him a 4.7MB .bmp file. And I certainly am not good with blogs. BUT, I am good at running a business and its operations. Timmy sucks at that stuff. But he’s good at what I’m bad at. Unfortunately, Timmy is good at 4 things whilst I’m only good at 2. I’m mainly making this post to appease him, so if you were stupid enough to read this far, I recommend that you stop reading now.

With Assault, my main job is going to be the handling of orders. I don’t know how I got lucky enough to get this task, but I did. In doing this, my goal is to implement a system that will allow me to leverage my skill sets thus, making me more efficient. Assault is an enterprise that cares. With direct lines of communication to the owners, we have enabled our customers to communicate directly with us….and this has NOTHING to do with the fact that Timmy and I are the only employees. This simple fact is a result of us streamlining our organization to a horizontal structure. We want to get things done. We want to think outside the box. We want to be dynamic. We want to synergize. We are the next generation company. We are building a client-centric brand….oh ya, we also wanna sell some shirts and stick it to the man. Now watch this cool video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5zRe8wa4pM

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About the Author

craig Craig, also known as Mr. 51% is part owner of Assault and currently resides somewhere between Dallas and Indiana.

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7 comments “awaiting immediate, obnoxious rebuttal”

  1. Saushan says:

    so many buzz words, i felt like i was reading out of a business 101 text book.

  2. tim says:

    That’s how the Prez operates this bitch.

  3. C R A I G says:

    what frickin time zone is this shiz on?

  4. C R A I G says:

    Its 2 hrs too fast, to be exact

  5. tim says:

    Our blog is so fucking incredible that it traverses time and space Craig. It’s marketing 101 gosh!

  6. tim says:

    PS: The url for this blog is still I-Hate-Timmy

    You’re blowing the Search Engine Optimization for us Craig!

  7. C R A I G says:

    so fix it, “webmaster”

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